Feelings

This is a copy of what I wrote on the blog at Keeperskorner which is directed to those abuse survivors both MPD/DID and non who visit Keepers site, who write to her and me and we in turn write back, offering support and getting support. Here it is.

Most of you who will be reading this will know exactly what I say when I say that feelings are so easy to hurt. Each of you, whether a multiple or a survivor or both know it all too well. A mis-spoken word, a forgotten promise or worse yet an ignored promise, a lackadaisical attitude of oh well, all hurtful things to each of you. Let's face it you are very fragile in many ways even as you are strong in so many ways. You are the strongest crystal made.

Are you resilient? very much so. Are you able to pull yourself up and keep on going? Oh, yes, undoubtedly. Are you strong when one would expect weakness and hurt when one would say, why? Only when one did not pay attention. For if we pay attention we know why.

I have read so many blogs in the last 6 months or so and one of the most common threads is how fearful people (by people I am referring to those involved in these blogs, writers and commenters) are of hurting other peoples feelings, how very careful they tend to be in choosing their words and also in their actions. They are very sensitive people, and after all they have been through wouldn't you expect them maybe to be just a bit coarse and cold? But they are not, at least the ones I have read and visited. Oh yes, there may be alters who are harder and more able to say enough is enough but as a general rule you are all very sensitive. Even after all you have been through. That is what makes all of you so very special in this world. You still have gentleness, thoughtfulness, feelings of a good nature.

You are all indeed remarkable and I mean that to each of you. I have read where Amelia's feelings were hurt, or Austin was choosing her words so very carefully or Keepers were apologizing for what they felt or Little T was so sad and now so happy or whatever was being felt by whoever. Through Keepers I have come to know so many of you out there, by visiting your sites and your blogs and I see the same hurt over and over again, the same hurt Keepers feel, maybe not all of the time but sometimes. To be quite truthful I wish I could gather Keepers and each and every one of you up in my arms and fly us all away to a better place, a better world, where you weren't hurt over and over, not just then when so many terrible things happened to each of you but also now when inconsiderate people and even loved ones hurt you again with their "too busy" attitudes and their "I forgot" promises and their "I'll get to it tomorrow, tomorrow" promises a la Annie.

How I wish I could get through to your friends, your family members, your coworkers, your T's, your webmasters, your loved ones and on and on and how I want to get through to them how very fragile you are. Some of you are stronger than others, but there are pieces inside each of you that are just as fragile as crystal and has to be treated as such. I have to remind myself of the same thing sometimes.

You all deserve to be treated kindly and with respect, it is not so much to ask. Do I think you should be treated with kids gloves? To a degree. Crystal is meant to be handled carefully and gently, what is so wrong with that? Is a person deserving of less, especially ones who have been through so much, survived so much, are they not due a little extra care when dealing with them and their emotions? I am not condoning emotional blackmail for I believe what I see from keepers and what I read from you out there is your real feelings. Not once have I felt as though any of you were using your feelings to get what you wanted or some preferential treatments. I always saw and see and hear and read it as genuine.

You are all wonderful, you are all special, you are all survivors, you are all deserving of the best of treatment not only from me, but from each other and also from those around you. I pray you all will receive the respect and care you offer each other from the others in your lives and if I ever fail to live up to this with Keepers or others out there who I write to and receive communications from, please let me know. There have been times I let Keepers down, I am not proud of that but I try to do right by them and to all of you others who may be reading this. If I let you down let me know and I will try to make it right. What I have learned is when I hurt you it takes more time for the trust to come back and I do not want to lose that with any of you.

Am I saying that to Keepers or you or you or you?? I am saying it to all of you, especially Keepers but to all of you who are on this journey with Keepers, hand in hand and heart in heart
because you deserve it and because the journey shouldn't be any rougher than it already is.
I hope and pray those around you feel the same way, if not now, then soon, very soon.

Peace and blessings to all of you

John Michael