Break Out the Fall Menu

The air is getting cooler, even though our weathermen were predicitng a warmer than usual end of September for us, it hasn't happened! We went to Six Flags yesterday and had to avoid the water rides as it was too cold to get wet. But the cooler weather does provide the necessary change for Keepers and me to begin changing our supper menu from the summer fare to fall and winter fare.

First on my list is chili, can't wait to make some for supper and then follow it up as chili dogs another night. My chili is never the same tasting from one time to the next as I vary some of the ingredients depending on what sounds good to me. I say this because the older keepers do not eat chili very often but seven year Terrence loves chili and 4 year old Emily Ann loves chili dogs, so I do have some company on this. The basic chili I make is ground beef, onions, chili hot beans and tomato sauce, salt, pepper and chil powder and a wee bit of garlic powder. From there it may receive rotel hot peppers or salsa or green peppers. The biggest mistake I ever made was adding one TEASPOON of Scorned Woman Hot Sauce, no one could eat it without a glass of something after every bite. Way too potent to enjoy, never did that again!

For Keepers, their first choice is homemade Irish stew from their grandmother from Ireland's recipe and homemade chicken noodle soup from I don't know who! Personally I like 'em both and weather like this makes them move to the front of the menu list for us. Sometimes she serves the stew over rice with some rolls or biscuits on the side to sop up some of the gravy.

Also on our list of fall foods is spaghetti and meat sauce and lasagna. We use the same sauce for both, we start with Chef Boy ar Dee meat sauce, then add browned beef, onions, mushrooms, tomato sauce, salt, pepper, garlic, oregano and sweet basil. If making lasagna we also add grated mozzarrella and ricotta to each layer. Getting hungry just writing about such things!!

Meat loaf and mashed potatoes is a fall favorite of ours also, our meat loaf is ground beef, or round or sirloin, whatever is on sale. I add that because lots of times around here the ground, sirloin or round is cheaper than the ground beef at one of our local grocery stores, have no idea why. Anyway, to the beef we add 2 raw eggs, salt, pepper, garlic powder, one package of onion soup mix, one small onion and sprinkle in some instant mashed potatoes to hold it all togehter.

We call this one beef ala, it's a conglomeration of sirloin or tip steak cut up then added to browned green peppers and onion and canned or fresh mushrooms, do not cook all the way though. In another pan add two bottles of heinz savory beef gravy, add one bottle water add the beef, onions, green peppers mix and one can of oriental vegetables. let it all simmer while you cook some rice. serve the beef ala over the rice.

Well that's it for now, hope we made someone hungry and maybe gave them an idea for a meal coming up. If we did let us know how it turned out. We really hope it is good if you use any of them.

Peace, blessings and hearty meals to each of you

john michael

When Others Hurt

When others hurt, what can we do? So often as keepers and I read other multiples and other survivors blogs and websites it is very often right out front as to the pain and hurt they are going through. Everyone leaves their comments, most trying to be supportive but there is so little we can really do to offer help.

Knowing that can be frustrating, it can hurt on this side, wanting to help ease someones pain, someones hurt. It often happens here, as I see keepers in pain, feelings hurt, tears welling, and yet there is really nothing I can do except be supportive, as we are trying to do via Keeperskorner, to be supportive. We get emails or comments that say thank you for your support and then we read on a blog how they are going to the hospital for depression and don't know when they will be back. Yes, it hurts to know we could help for a while but in the end it was not enough.

So, then you begin to wonder, are we doing any good? Are we really helping other multiples and survivors in any way? Or are we centering on those in deeper trouble than the others who are still on that road to recovery without the sidetrip to the hospital? Are we forgetting what we can do is limited, that the only ears who will hear us or those who read our words and know we are genuine. We read where those we care for, even though we have never met them, are considering stepping in front of a train to end it all!! What can we do? Should we expect to do something to help them? Is our support all we can give and can we give it in a better form?? We do not know.

We read where others want to help multiples and survivors, just as we do, and we wonder are they ready for the self doubt, the self questioning? The not knowing if we are really helping anyone out there. There are times when we really do feel we are helping, making a small but earnest difference in someones life and then in one glance at a blog or its comments we get so waylaid that we wonder if we ever really helped at all?

Maybe it is human nature, maybe it is that old fear of not being worthy to help much less do anything else right. We all have self doubts, but I can honestly say that multiples and abuse survivors have some of the lowest self esteem I have ever seen and I understand why. I also have seen it be growing steadily in some and in one fell swoop they are knocked for a loop so to speak, and back to "why bother".

What i forget I think is that I see Keepers as "recovered" in some ways and I forget that they still have many keepers inside who are not all at the same point on their individual road to recovery even though many I interact with are far enough along to offer this website of theirs as a support center for others, the way some people react or do not react can hurt them still. Keepers are very strong, very determined to help others on this path to recovery, to become thrivers as Marj says, but they can be hurt very easily and understandably.

So when I see others hurt and I see keepers hurt, I often wonder what more can I do, should I do? Is support all I can offer? Should there be more? Can i give something to help make it all easier to bear? All of us who are friends, spouses, significant others to multiples and abuse survivors need to make every effort to be all we can for our loved ones. They need us and we need them, we want them to succeed at thriving as much as they do.

I just got my answer, I went back and asked what was wrong, what can I do? They said "leave it be, we're not mad or angry at you, just leave it be!"

peace and blessings to each of you in your journey

john michael

Too Much Similarity

Too Much Similarity

As I learned what terrible abuses my wife endured in her life before we came together, especially as a child, I was shocked to think that people could do such things to their own children, their own niece, their own granddaughter. Now, as we try to make Keeperskorner
a site for survivors to come to and get support and information and links to other resources and we hear their stories it becomes very apparent that what I thought was so unusual appears to be way to normal.

Tonight alone I read 3 blogs by 3 different survivors and each one had very similar incidents, perpetrators as keepers did. I always knew abuse was usually at the hands of family members and that sadly, in keepers family the was collusion among family members to promote this behavior but now i am reading in others blogs how they were abused by multiple relatives!!!

How can parents mutually abuse their children? How can they turn them over to other adults in the family for the same type of abuse? Are these people simply devils posing as humans? Are they the sickest people to live? Were they so abused they now have to pass it on?? Are they so putrid as humans they have to control children to feel some sort of power and control?

When you consider in your musings is there good and evil, is there a god and a devil, is there a battle to be fought between the forces of what is right for the good of mankind and what is right for the good of me and you are aware of bs like this happening in our world everyday, you have to know which side you are on and say so. We have to stop this somehow, someway. Because it just escalates into abuse of others, not just children, but of sisters and wives and mothers nad strangers because the perps care about no one but themselves.

Yes, I know abuse happens to males also, and I was not avoiding that, but I also know that as a society that is often overlooked. But then the priests abusing the altar boys and such began getting publicity and now the entire world knows more about abuse than maybe ever before and yet I see no large outcries for it to stop. I still see people donating to their churches, I still Amish people being "left alone" by outsiders to deal with their own problems, just like the Jews of New York City who also claim to have a serious abuse problem but you see one or two articles and then nothing more.

When is mankind going to stop burying it's head in the sand and deal with these problems?? When are people going to speak out and be heard? We need more celebrities and "known" people to admit if they were abused, raped, etc to draw attention to the problems because in this world if you aren't somebody, no one else cares, except for others who endured the same, and so far, it is not enough to make drastic changes in how perpetrators are dealt with.

To everyone who has ever been abused, raped, molested, or personally assaulted in some manner against your will, I can only say how sorry i am that a member of the human race did this to you, and because i am a member of this supposed human race, i am ashamed.

peace and blessings

john

Communication

Communication, one of the most important abilities we have. to be able to communicate our thoughts, our feelings, our wants, our needs. We all need to communicate to others, and how well we do it influences whether or not we reach those people and get what we are looking for.

For the most part, those we relate to are not mind readers, they cannot telepathically know what we are thinking, therefore we must tell them. When we tell them we must communicate ...that is to say we must approach it on a level that encourages them to listen, to hear, to digest what we say to them and to then respond, hopefully in a positve manner.

Communicating with Keepers and other survivors of abuse or other trumas requires us to communicate gently, supportively, compassionately, and honestly. Hmmm...come to think of it, sounds like a good way to communicate with anyone, doesn't it? Maybe that is my whole point here, that when dealing with anyone we need to make every effort to honestly communicate, to make every effort to make it as easy as possible for the recipient to hear us, to understand what we are saying. We should make them comfortable with our words, our tone of voice, our inflections, and as a result we should be able to communicate better.

Communicating is indeed a two way street and we as listeners to someone else must make every effort to hear what they are saying. We need to focus on them, their words, their eyes, their presentation, read them as they speak, watch for thier body language also. Realize they may be uncomfortable or nervous, weigh it all and hear them. Really hear what they are saying and not what you think they want you to hear or worse yet, what you want them to say.

Communication, is so important to relationships. Be it a stranger saying "excuse me" or a sales person or a friend or a loved one, or oneself. Yes, we must also learn how to tell ourselves things and listen to our inner self as it tries to direct us, to make us hear what is being presented to us.
Being a good listener is tantamount to a good conversation and communication. Do not expect others to listen to you when you won't listen and hear them. Communication, successful communication is an art, one we all need to improve on.

peace and blessings to all of you

john m

Visiting Pastor

Saturday we visisted Pastor Brown who is in the hospital up in Kansas City. He has diabetes and got an infection in his foot which is very dangerous for diabetics. He had to have surgery on his foot. So we trucked on up there to see him, a good 41/2 hour drive from where we are. Now Pastor Brown just loves White Castle burgers. I don't know how many of our visitors know what a White Castle burger is but it a unique burger, cooked on a bed off onions on the grill, the patties are small and thin, 4 or 5 bites can do in a WC burger easily. To say they have their own taste is an understatement. Most people either love 'em or hate them! Well, PB loves 'em.
When we got there 3 of his sisters were there with his nephew who had a football game to play in yesterday afternoon. Well 2 of the burgers were for his nephew and 2 were for him, you would think we robbed him of those 2 we gave his nephew!! Sometimes Pastor just strikes you as a really big boy who hasn't grown up but then you listen to him talk and you realize he is a man of great stature, not just physically but emotionally, spiritually and morally.
We have had several sessions with pastor where we have discussed so much; our problems, societies problems, his problems, the websites problems, and yet we have also shared our joys and triumphs. Usually he casually mentions Jesus and doing the right thing, not because he is preaching to us or anyone who may be there, but that is how he truly feels, he never ever places himself above anyone else, if anything he tries to be in the background and lets you be in front so to speak, even if you are uncomfortable with it. He speaks quietly and softly yet firmly and with compassion and passion at the same time.
Back to yesterday, his sisters were getting ready to leave when we got there but we at least gotto meet them and now they know he didn't make us up. Ever since Pastor and us began his monthly newsletter his sisters have been kidding him about these 2 people he says is helping him but they never see these 2 people! They were wonderful ladies and huggers also, just like Pastor. His nephew was there and got to take his 2 White Castle burger home with him!! We got to visit with him for a couple of hours, his nurse got him in a wheel chair so we could take him on a stroll around the floor. Seems like every other person we saw said hi to him and us or he said heelo to them. The man draws the best out of people, I swear. Maybe that's one of the reasons keepers and I love him so much, after we have seen him, listened to him, talked to him we feel so happy, so full of life and hope we are so ready to take the next step in whatever direction we are heading.
After we had been there about 2 hours we were getting ready to go, as Pastor pouted kiddingly, "you're going to leave me just because you've got a 4 or 5 hour drive ahead of you?"
and wouldn't you know it, in comes another couple, regulars at his ministry. We met them and got our goodbye hugs from Pastor and left him in their hands or them in his, depending on how you want to look at it. As we left we knew we felt better for seeing him, for being with him, we just hoped we had given him something in return.
This morning we had an email from Pastor, sent from his hospital bed, telling how he had company until 10:30 last night at the hospital and had more on the way this morning! He will not be alone, he is too loved and needed. He also thanked us for being there, for taking the time to drive there.

It was our pleasure Pastor.

john michael and keepers

Keepers, John and Keeperskorner

Hello everyone, John here, I'm the one in the baseball cap. Keepers are the lovely blonde on the right, my left, and Keeperskorner is the "two" of us together as well as all of our visitors and Blue our webmaster. I bring this up because there is some confusion on behalf of some of our visitors, they think I am a keeper also. I am a fraction of this team as there are way more keepers than johns. I say that because keepers are a multiple personality system, the direct result of years upon years of traumatic abuse, (is there any other kind?) that forced them to cope somehow and multiplicity was their minds resolution. Simply create different alters (keepers) to handle different things in life so that no one individual has to handle too much of the abuse. Pretty amazing, eh?

I am husband to some, significant other to others, best pal and buddy to others, first love to some, friend to a few, partner to many and probably pain in the butt to some as well as smart assed sailor to others, (I was in the Navy when we got married). All in all we are two bodies, many minds and individuals that have a website called Keeperskorner

Keeperskorner was originally a site to sell keepers artwork on and secondly a site to provide information about multiples, about their views and mine on surviving abuse, about what it is like being a multiple and the spouse of one, but it has been transformed into a ministry of sorts, no longer attempting to sell artwork but now offering it freely those who desire it, one piece at a time I might add, and also offering support to abuse survivors via a toll free phone line for USA residents, via the blogs, the articles we present, the art and poetry galleries, the links to other sites and blogs that also offer support and information.

Both Keepers and I write blogs, we also visit others and leave our comments there. Keepers are the heart of the site, the heart of the mission as stated on the homepage. They are the ones who know the pains, the memories, the abuse and how those who have gone through the same sorts of things feel. What I know I know by observation and having lived with keepers for 36 years. So, what I know is what I have seen and heard which is nowhere near the same as having experienced it, the abuse they all endured.

I am posting this on our other blogs, just so more of our visitors might see it. I want everyone to know who is who. To be honest it was an honor to be asked if I was a keeper, I have that much respect for them and others like them. But, I am as they say a "singleton" so I am more than happy to assist them in getting the word out, in promoting what we consider to be our ministry,
in telling other loved ones and significant others of other abuse survivors and multiples what I have seen and experienced from my viewpoint. I am happy to refer others to Keeperskorner so that they may find that one word that can help them survive or make it for 5 more minutes.

Keepers and I hope we are a part of the solution, for we never want to be part of the problem.
Won't you join us?

Peace and blessings

john and Keepers

General Blahs

Posted on www.Keeperskorner.com 9/01/06 Reproduced with Keepers permission


Ever have one of those days where nothing is terribly wrong but nothing is terribly right and your overall feeling is "blah"? Little things happen to eat up your time, things happen that results in your putting off a planned thing to do or a special dinner has less than special food, you know, those little things that by themselves you go "oh well", but tie three or four of them together and your whole day is "blah".

There are good things too, maybe a call you were expecting actually comes, maybe a call you were hoping for comes also, maybe another call you have been waiting for comes and at first you're very happy but then you find out they don't feel good and they have what could be serious health issues so that call went from happy to sad. Maybe you were hoping for a call or a card from someone close to your heart, but it never came.

Maybe you went to do an activity you are usually quite good at or at least better than your significant other, but this time you have absolutely no luck at all!! They are doing better than you which is good, don't get me wrong, but when you are used to being the best at this particular activity and nothing goes right, except for some small victories, it makes your day a little more "blah".

I know all keepers have "blah" days sometimes, sometimes all of us have them the same day and those are "BLAH" days! Not just keepers have them, we know everyone does, some people just have them more than others or at least it seems that way. So how do you, our visitors handle those "blah" days? We'd like to hear how you get over them, how you handle them. Is it something you do for yourself to bring yourself out of it? Maybe you read something special or listen to a sentimental cd or whatever. Let's hear it from as many as possible as to find out what you do to combat the "blahs".

We are looking forward to hearing what our visitors have as remedies, which we all can use to turn our "blahs" into "hurrahs".

Peace and blessings always

Keepers