The St Louis Cardinals lost another player over the weekend, this time in an auto accident which may have involved drunk driving, again. I say again because it happens day after day night after night all across this country of ours. Have I done it? Driven under the influence? Yes I have but not for over 20 years. It was stupid to do.
As I was growing up I knew people who died this way, as our kids grew up they had friends who died this way, and now I have friends at work who have kids or relatives who die this way. i wonder when we will get it, drinking and driving do not mix. Alcohol plus vehicle equals death way too often!!
At least this time, if alcohol was involved, no innocent bystanders were killed in the process.
JM
Monday, April 30, 2007
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Miscellaneous Ramblings part II
Catchy title for a blog, eh? Where oh where did the month of April go? Same place March went I guess. This is one of those going nowhere blogs in case you haven't guessed yet. Our local major league baseball team sucks big time so far, season starts and the entire team except for one player goes into a batting slump, whole team is hitting like .200 so far, not good at all.
It's spring in the midwest here so one day it is 65 degrees and the next is it 82 and then the sky rumbles and lightning shoots all over and we get a downpour that lasts for 10 minutes and it begins to feel like a sauna.
Our income tax refund is gone already but we now can use our shower and bathtub again after 3 months of not having it, but now the bathroom sink drain clogs up!!! gotta go find my snake and try to unclog it.
the boys, our 3 yr old cats, Max and Owen are still as goofy as usual, they are like having a couple of kids around. I was talking with Keepers on the phone while I was at work today and i hear them say, "we don't know what happened in the basement...we heard something fall...then both cats came flying up the steps...right past me...and this is the different part...usually when they come flying up they stop when they see one of us and just kind of walk like we aren't supposed to notice how they flew up the steps...then they pick it up again after they get by us...but today they just flew by her and headed to the back bedroom where they stayed for about an hour!" Still haven't gone down in the basement to see what happened, not that brave yet.
Went to Red Lobster for dinner tonight, Shrimp Lover's Tuesday, 3 shrimp dishes for $11.99 includes salad and those wonderful cheddar biscuits! When we left Keepers said "You know we have never had bad service at Red Lobster" and we haven't! Oh yeah, always order some crab cakes also, delicious stuff.
I have to buy a new headlight for the car, bought new shoes tonight, old pair wore out, I know exciting stuff!!
Over at Keeperskorner some odd stuff was happening last week, seems to have ceased for now, I am very proud of keepers for holding their own and making it through what was a very difficult time for them. Waiting for Andrzej our webmaster to make some much needed changes to the menus for the site so we can expand it some more. Maybe by this weekend, keeping fingers crossed!!
That is all for now, nothing major, just some rambling words to let the four of you know I am still out here.
Happy trails pardners
john michael
It's spring in the midwest here so one day it is 65 degrees and the next is it 82 and then the sky rumbles and lightning shoots all over and we get a downpour that lasts for 10 minutes and it begins to feel like a sauna.
Our income tax refund is gone already but we now can use our shower and bathtub again after 3 months of not having it, but now the bathroom sink drain clogs up!!! gotta go find my snake and try to unclog it.
the boys, our 3 yr old cats, Max and Owen are still as goofy as usual, they are like having a couple of kids around. I was talking with Keepers on the phone while I was at work today and i hear them say, "we don't know what happened in the basement...we heard something fall...then both cats came flying up the steps...right past me...and this is the different part...usually when they come flying up they stop when they see one of us and just kind of walk like we aren't supposed to notice how they flew up the steps...then they pick it up again after they get by us...but today they just flew by her and headed to the back bedroom where they stayed for about an hour!" Still haven't gone down in the basement to see what happened, not that brave yet.
Went to Red Lobster for dinner tonight, Shrimp Lover's Tuesday, 3 shrimp dishes for $11.99 includes salad and those wonderful cheddar biscuits! When we left Keepers said "You know we have never had bad service at Red Lobster" and we haven't! Oh yeah, always order some crab cakes also, delicious stuff.
I have to buy a new headlight for the car, bought new shoes tonight, old pair wore out, I know exciting stuff!!
Over at Keeperskorner some odd stuff was happening last week, seems to have ceased for now, I am very proud of keepers for holding their own and making it through what was a very difficult time for them. Waiting for Andrzej our webmaster to make some much needed changes to the menus for the site so we can expand it some more. Maybe by this weekend, keeping fingers crossed!!
That is all for now, nothing major, just some rambling words to let the four of you know I am still out here.
Happy trails pardners
john michael
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Happy but Feeling Guilty
Today, keepers especially got their Mother's Day miracle a few weeks early...our daughter who we lost contact with over 5 years ago wrote to them!! She left a comment on their blog that said they respected Keepers and are proud of keepers, that the abuse we feared she had endured did indeed happen, and sickeningly from a member of our own household it appears. She did not name him but it is obvious.
To this daughter and to her younger sister who well have endured the same abuse, I can only say how sorry I am for not recognizing anything being wrong. For not being there to protect you. For keepers I could not as I was a child when they were a child but my own daughters had a father who let them down in this area. I will never forgive myself for that.
To Munchkin, please know that Pop loves you and always will and sincerely apologizes for not being your protector when you needed me. I also want to thank you for easing some of Keepers guilt, some of their pain, because now they know that you do not hate them, that your anger has been tempered, and that the hope of holding you in their arms is now a possibility again.
May your healing continue, I pray J is still there at your side, being your protector.
All my love and respect
Pop
To this daughter and to her younger sister who well have endured the same abuse, I can only say how sorry I am for not recognizing anything being wrong. For not being there to protect you. For keepers I could not as I was a child when they were a child but my own daughters had a father who let them down in this area. I will never forgive myself for that.
To Munchkin, please know that Pop loves you and always will and sincerely apologizes for not being your protector when you needed me. I also want to thank you for easing some of Keepers guilt, some of their pain, because now they know that you do not hate them, that your anger has been tempered, and that the hope of holding you in their arms is now a possibility again.
May your healing continue, I pray J is still there at your side, being your protector.
All my love and respect
Pop
Saturday, April 14, 2007
People Struggling All Over the Place
As Keepers Korner continues onward we are seeing more people struggling than usual. It seems to be cyclical and with Easter just ending the obvious tie in to a holiday rears it's ugly head once more. As you prepare to go to the next holiday function be it family, friends whatever, notice those who seem to be off to the side or who came up with an excuse to not be there and take the time to be observant. It is a possibility that these people have memories associated with the holidays that overwhelm them, unpleasant memories that the holiday brings right back to the forefront.
I once heard that 85% of the American families are dysfunctional, and the more I see and hear
the more I am beginning to believe it. The more I pay attention to those around me and what they say and do I can almost piece together some more dysfunctional scenarios. The more you watch and listen you may well see and recognize behaviors that say, I was hurt, I had terrible role models, I am so ashamed, etc. These are all people struggling and they come from all walks of life, all nationalities, all religions. Abuse knows no mark or line it cannot cross, it does not care. Rich, poor, black, white, yellow, purple with polka dots, doesn't matter. Catholic, Lutheran, Jewish, Amish, quaker, Hindu, Muslim, Buddhists, it doesn't care. It respects no lines, no boundaries, no limitations.
Be aware of what you see, watch for those who need a kind word, a hug, whatever. Many people out there just need to know someone cares about them. People are struggling all over the place, therefore people all over the place need help and understanding. Do what you can, every little bit helps.
peace and blessings
john michael
I once heard that 85% of the American families are dysfunctional, and the more I see and hear
the more I am beginning to believe it. The more I pay attention to those around me and what they say and do I can almost piece together some more dysfunctional scenarios. The more you watch and listen you may well see and recognize behaviors that say, I was hurt, I had terrible role models, I am so ashamed, etc. These are all people struggling and they come from all walks of life, all nationalities, all religions. Abuse knows no mark or line it cannot cross, it does not care. Rich, poor, black, white, yellow, purple with polka dots, doesn't matter. Catholic, Lutheran, Jewish, Amish, quaker, Hindu, Muslim, Buddhists, it doesn't care. It respects no lines, no boundaries, no limitations.
Be aware of what you see, watch for those who need a kind word, a hug, whatever. Many people out there just need to know someone cares about them. People are struggling all over the place, therefore people all over the place need help and understanding. Do what you can, every little bit helps.
peace and blessings
john michael
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Please Be Careful!
As a singleton I deal with keepers every day. For those of you who do not know, keepers is my SO's system of alters, she is multiple personality gifted or DID in the new terms of the AMA or whoever makes things such as that "official" in the medical profession. Dealing with her alters day in and day out for over 35 years I have seen a lot, heard a lot and in honesty, messed up a lot.
Multiples are abuse survivors. Plain and simple that is why they are multiple, it was their brains way of handling repeated and horrific abuse any kind, be it physical, emotional, mental, sexual or any combination thereof. Some say it doesn't even exist, many universities and colleges, all I can say is boloney! It exists, no doubt about it. Seen it, live with it, watch them struggle with it, triumph over it, get setback and get back up again. Yes it indeed does exist.
So what is my point you ask? My point is when you are addressing a multiple whether in spoken words or written words take the time to think about what you are saying, how you are saying it, the tone you are using because each and every one of these can drastically effect what you are communicating to them. I recently made the mistake of writing a blog that was not well thought out, not edited like I usually do, not carefully written to consider my audience. I got to typing and in my haste and anger at what multiples have been through I used harsh words, words that made people feel like I was putting them down and I wasn't, not intentionally anyway.
I neglected my rules I put forth in the above paragraphs about how to treat people in the right way, the way they deserve to be treated. I tried to say multiples have to accept themselves as good people, that they do not deserve to feel like garbage. That the ways they were treated in their abuse was horrific but that they did not deserve it. But...that was not how it came out.
So please remember to choose your words carefully, remember who you are talking to and what they have been through. Words you use, phrases, tones, can make them feel like they did when the abuse occurred. That is how powerful what you say and how you say it can be. I for one regret ever putting those feelings up front with any multiple. Sadly I have done it more than once, and every time it was because I did not think enough to choose my words carefully or I let my feelings come through in my tone or attitude. Being angry at the abusers when you are trying to get the abused hear you say they are good and need to accept that to heal is not going to work. Your feelings of anger are changing what you are trying to say no matter how slightly and that can spell disaster for the abused.
Stop and think before opening mouth or putting words to paper and / or the screen otherwise you too will be hurting someone who deserves better than that.
Peace and blessings
John Michael
Multiples are abuse survivors. Plain and simple that is why they are multiple, it was their brains way of handling repeated and horrific abuse any kind, be it physical, emotional, mental, sexual or any combination thereof. Some say it doesn't even exist, many universities and colleges, all I can say is boloney! It exists, no doubt about it. Seen it, live with it, watch them struggle with it, triumph over it, get setback and get back up again. Yes it indeed does exist.
So what is my point you ask? My point is when you are addressing a multiple whether in spoken words or written words take the time to think about what you are saying, how you are saying it, the tone you are using because each and every one of these can drastically effect what you are communicating to them. I recently made the mistake of writing a blog that was not well thought out, not edited like I usually do, not carefully written to consider my audience. I got to typing and in my haste and anger at what multiples have been through I used harsh words, words that made people feel like I was putting them down and I wasn't, not intentionally anyway.
I neglected my rules I put forth in the above paragraphs about how to treat people in the right way, the way they deserve to be treated. I tried to say multiples have to accept themselves as good people, that they do not deserve to feel like garbage. That the ways they were treated in their abuse was horrific but that they did not deserve it. But...that was not how it came out.
So please remember to choose your words carefully, remember who you are talking to and what they have been through. Words you use, phrases, tones, can make them feel like they did when the abuse occurred. That is how powerful what you say and how you say it can be. I for one regret ever putting those feelings up front with any multiple. Sadly I have done it more than once, and every time it was because I did not think enough to choose my words carefully or I let my feelings come through in my tone or attitude. Being angry at the abusers when you are trying to get the abused hear you say they are good and need to accept that to heal is not going to work. Your feelings of anger are changing what you are trying to say no matter how slightly and that can spell disaster for the abused.
Stop and think before opening mouth or putting words to paper and / or the screen otherwise you too will be hurting someone who deserves better than that.
Peace and blessings
John Michael
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Being Thankful
Part of this new philosophy, which is really very old, the one I wrote about several blogs ago about Positivity bringing Prosperarity has a major facet that you must be thankful for what you have, because being truly, and I stress truly, thankful is part of the process.
So what am I thankful for? For meeting Keepers some time ago, about 39 years ago, on a parking lot a local shopping center and I fell for them right away, as soon as I saw them. Later I found it was mutual for some of the Keepers also. At that time I knew not of multiplicity and I don't think they did either.
I am thankful for these 39 years with them and the rest of time I know I will be with them, somehow, someway. Our journey has just begun.
For our home which has indeed served us well for all these years. Soon it will be sold to someone else after we move into our new home, a home better suited to house our living quarters and Keepers Korner the Charitable Organization.
For our car which has taken us on some interesting travels, and one we will keep for those rides to the Confluence Park where the mighty Mississippi River and big muddy, the Missouri River merges, it's a gravel road about 5 miles long that is dusty and rough and not the road to take the
fun car on. We will save the Mustang convertible for the drives to Columbia and Clinton to meet with our friend Pastor Brown, who is one of the people I am thankful for.
Besides Pastor are all of the multiples and survivors we have met here on the web through the blog and Keepers Korner. I am proud to call many of them my friends and hope to be friends with more as time goes on.
My old boss Harold, who gave Keepers their first chance at being artists, he truly believed in them and saw their potential way before any of the rest of us did. Thanks Harold for opening my eyes to who and what was right before me. Thank you also for believing in me and instilling in me ethics in business and personal relationships.
For my health, for my abilities, for my new vision of life and all it offers, which Keepers and I are sharing, the vision of happiness and success that is becoming manifested day by day, hour by hour, week after week. It is a new and wonderful world with many new happinesses and joys for them and me to share with many others, won't you join us in this new positive world? There is plenty of room, few have learned the secret to happiness and fulfillment; ask and you will receive, if you believe.
peace and blessings to each of you
john michael
So what am I thankful for? For meeting Keepers some time ago, about 39 years ago, on a parking lot a local shopping center and I fell for them right away, as soon as I saw them. Later I found it was mutual for some of the Keepers also. At that time I knew not of multiplicity and I don't think they did either.
I am thankful for these 39 years with them and the rest of time I know I will be with them, somehow, someway. Our journey has just begun.
For our home which has indeed served us well for all these years. Soon it will be sold to someone else after we move into our new home, a home better suited to house our living quarters and Keepers Korner the Charitable Organization.
For our car which has taken us on some interesting travels, and one we will keep for those rides to the Confluence Park where the mighty Mississippi River and big muddy, the Missouri River merges, it's a gravel road about 5 miles long that is dusty and rough and not the road to take the
fun car on. We will save the Mustang convertible for the drives to Columbia and Clinton to meet with our friend Pastor Brown, who is one of the people I am thankful for.
Besides Pastor are all of the multiples and survivors we have met here on the web through the blog and Keepers Korner. I am proud to call many of them my friends and hope to be friends with more as time goes on.
My old boss Harold, who gave Keepers their first chance at being artists, he truly believed in them and saw their potential way before any of the rest of us did. Thanks Harold for opening my eyes to who and what was right before me. Thank you also for believing in me and instilling in me ethics in business and personal relationships.
For my health, for my abilities, for my new vision of life and all it offers, which Keepers and I are sharing, the vision of happiness and success that is becoming manifested day by day, hour by hour, week after week. It is a new and wonderful world with many new happinesses and joys for them and me to share with many others, won't you join us in this new positive world? There is plenty of room, few have learned the secret to happiness and fulfillment; ask and you will receive, if you believe.
peace and blessings to each of you
john michael
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