Halloween Hauntings

Since it is almost Halloween I thought maybe i would write about keepers and my ghostly experiences, whether they were real apparitions or excited imaginations or something else, something as yet unexplained, we do not nor will we ever know.

My first such experience was when my grandfather passed away, my dad's dad. He was a young man, only about 52 if I remember correctly. I was only about 8-10 years old. My grandpa was not a well educated man but he was smart. He was crude and many of the daughters in law were not very appreciative of his humor. Anyway, at the funeral the sons were sitting at the ends of the aisles and one of my uncles kind of lost it and my dad took him out back to get himself together and another uncle asked me to move to where the uncle had been sitting, why I have no idea. As I sat there i could clearly see the open casket, imagine my surprise when just like in the movies the spirit raises up out of the body~!!! sitting up, there is my grandpa looking all around the church. He seemed to take pleasure in the daughters in law who scorned him yet now were sobbing like crazy. As he looked around I just sat there not scared at all, watching him check it all out. I think he looked at me, kindly, and then he laid back down in his body. That was my first experience of that sort.

The next time was in college, my roommate and I were in our room on a Sunday night I believe and it was warm for that time of night. We were living off campus in a one room apartment with a common bathroom for the other three rooms of guys up there, all college students. It was supposed to be a three man room but it was just the two of us and I had the bunk bed while my roommate has a single bed. That night I was laying on my lower bunk reading a book and to my right was what we called a butterfly chair, a canvas chair that went over a metal frame. Well i rolled over to change positions and I saw a man sitting there in that chair not five feet away from me! I called my room mate whom i could see on his bed facing the wall, he said what and I asked him to look over here. Slowly he rolled over and he stared in my general direction. "What do you see?" I asked. "There's a guy sitting in the yellow chair...he's got a plaid shirt on...blue jeans and boots" """What about his face?" I asked. "I can't see it...just a shadow where his head ought to be", he replied. "Why?, What do you see ?" he asked. " I see the same thing, " I said. We both freaked out and he was gone! My roommate came over as we both stared at the chair, afraid to get too close to it. That night I moved to the top bunk and my rommie slept in the bottom bunk and we both had blankets pulled up to our chings. Two 19 year old guys scared, really scared. We rented that aprtment from the guy who owned the clothing store a few doors away. When we paid our next months rent we asked if anything odd or "creepy" happened up there in any of the aprtments. He said her heard a student from back in the 50's, a Korean war vet had hung himself in one of the rooms, but he didn't know which room. Our unexpected guest? Who knows.

Last but not least was in our first apartment after I got out of the navy. Our son was still in a crib but we knew it would be soon for him to have a bed as he was getting old enough. Well, on christmas Eve we were waiting for keepers brothers to show up, maybe we would go to Midnight mass, we weren't sure yet. We were on the couch watching tv and we both looked over at the junction of the two bedrooms and the kitchen and there was a little figure. Our first reaction was how did he get out of his crib? Oh no! he's climbed out!! Our life will change once again, our first child is roaming about! We got up to put him back in bed and he disappeared! We hurried to his room, turned on a light and there he slept, soundly, he hadn't been up after all. But if he hadn't been awake who or what did we see? Being Christmas we decided it was a little guardian angel and never looked back.

So there is our rendevouzs with ghosts, spirits, etc, except for the Ouija board experiences which I may or may not ever talk about again. How about you, any good scarey, creepy stories you can share? I know Halloween is a very scarey time for some survivors and I hope i haven't dredged up memories for them or they simply decided not to read this blog. To all of our visitors, peace and blessings

john michael

2006 World Champions

The 2006 St Louis Cardinals, World Series Winner!! Who da thunk it? A team that managed to almost blow an entire season and on the very last day of the season managed to eak out first place in their division. That means they won more games than anyone else in their division which in turn means, they get a shot at the title.
A great team? It all depends on how you look at them. In 2004 the St Louis Cardinals won 100+ games including post season and were swept 4 games to none in the world series. this year was a different story, they managed to get most of the regular lineup together, they pulled together and as a team, they won, by scraping together, by relying on each other, by rooting for the guy in the lineup that day, by doing anything necessary to win. And they did. Everyone gave them nothing but grief just for making the playoffs, and as each round ended, with them advancing the critics poopoohed their chances of getting any further. All the way up to the end, Detroit will kill them! This team doesn't deserve to be here, to still be playing, how crass of them to even pretend they belong. They do not deserve to play with the good teams. Last night they won the world series! A team with a good many castoffs from other teams had done the impossible. They had beaten three teams in the post season, three better teams, supposedly, and at the end of the evening the trophy was theirs. To cherish, to savor, to handle with kid gloves. To tell thier kids and grandkids about years from now. They are winners from their hearts to their abilities to their guts and fortitude. They are worthy of the title World Champions, they earned it the last 3 weeks. Can anyone else make the same statement?

When I see what keepers and other survivors have done, to survive years of abuse, to keep on going, to try to understand their past and why and what they are, I can easily see that they too are champions, life champions that so many, mostly their abusers, say they do not deserve. Why not? Because they survived? Because they are not worthy? Because they are not normal? Those like keepers, multiples, like that team of 25 seperate players, pull their alters, their players together, over many long years of remembrances and tortures, and come out the winners. And they are criticized for not being elite, for not being the epitomy of the great teams, for not being like the rest. No credit is given for what they achieved. Some of their biggest detractors and critics have accomplished nothing near what they have. Nor have they tried. Unlike keepers and other multiples and survivors, the critics demean their success while failing in their own games. Like the Detroit Tigers they make errors, they miss chances, some of them even have the question of their having cheated come up. They criticize the less than great team while praising their own false ideals and abilities, not realizing they were the overachievers all the time, they were the ones destined to fall, while the team of castoffs, of borderline abilities, was destined to achieve immortality.

To the St Louis Cardinals of 2006, my gratitude and thanks for a post season to remember, capped by the championship.

To the survivors I live with every day and those I know from the emails, or visiting their sites and their visits to ours, my gratitude for the lessons you teach me, my thanks for not giving up and my respect for pulling together in so many ways, and being the champions each of you are.

john michael

What Would You Do?

Ever fantasize about winning the lottery? Powerball? Magamillions? Whatever? Ever wonder what you would do if suddenly you had more money than you ever imagined? I do especially, I don't think Keepers think about it as much as I do, maybe they do and I don't know it, but there are times where I map it all out, what I would do, almost step by step so that when it happens I will be ready.

Money has been tight for so long that I would claim it right away, no getting a lawyer or tax adviser, I want twhatever the government leaves us because it would be more than enough for what we want.

Number One would be for me to quit working so I could devote my time to Keepers Korner and help keepers do even more with it.

Number Two would be to pay off every debt we have now and make repairs to our car.

Number three would be to set aside money to pay our bills and all expenses until the next annual check comes in, i.e. 1 years worth.

Number four take keepers and find a new house to be our home for the rest of our lives, with a big studio for their artwork and plenty of closets for clothes for many keepers. It would be near water, in our view, could be a river or a lake or an ocean.

Number Five would be to offer to all of our visitors even more things survivors could use and benefit from, like the toll free number for overseas friends so they could call us, or prescription assistance for friends who are having money issues so they would never be without their meds, or assistance for therapy when necessary or art supplies, there are so many ways we could help if we had the means.

Number six would be to meet as many usa friends as possible, requiring less travel but only if they want to meet, otherwise it would all be via phone or as it is now.

If possible I would like to take keepers to two places, to England to meet some of our friends who live over there, to australia to meet some who live there and then to ireland so keepers could visit their ancestral home.

That would be our dream come true, to be able to do those things, to be able to finish up our lives helping and assisting as many survivors as we could.

What about you? Let us know what your dreams are if you won. After all it's just a fantasy! Isn't it?

Peace and blessings to all of our friends out there

john michael and keepers

Blogs We Do Not Understand - Reposted

We were notified by email today of approximately 30 blog sites on Blogspot that are pro pedophile sites. We have already agreed to flag these sites so Blogspot is aware of these sites and can review them. You can tell Blogspot what you think of this material here:
http://help.blogger.com/?page=help

And at this e-mail address:
support@blogger.com

I read parts of some of these sites and some are pure garbage and some are their rationale for their feelings, with "scientific" details to support their views and survey findings to also support their cockeyed attitudes. No matter to me, sexual loving of a child is wrong no matter what. A child is a child and must be protected and treated as such. No matter how many believe it is okay that doesn't make it right.

They can hide behind this romance and pure love BS but that is all it is, BS. A child who is used this way grows up in a sick concept of love and when they are adults cannot love as adults. It also robs them of their childhood, which is to be innocent and joyous, not a sexual toy for someones perverted desires and views of love.

When someone advocates loving children, in their sense of the word love, to me it means they cannot love as adults in an adult relationship, so they choose via their attraction to "fall in love" with children, whom they can easily sway with their lies, with their attention, building relationships they can control with their deceit. control. A very big issue for these people. Lies. How they enable their power over children.

Enough. I could go on forever on this subject but my purpose here is to bring these sites to your attention, so you our readers can know that they exist. If you wish, file a comment with
Blogspot or send an email with your thoughts as we have. Providing a support site for abuse survivors would be a lie if we knowingly disregarded sites like this.

Please do the right thing and ask others in your support system to report sites such as this also. The sites listed below are by pedophiles and visiting them by survivors is probably NOT a good idea, but if you could have someone you trust look at them so you are confident in the fact that you are reporting pedophilic sites that would be good. As pedophiles they are predators and must be recognized as such. i.e. they are dangerous to you and your children and any other children!

http://mojoe-.blogspot.com/
http://theboyloveblog.blogspot.com/
http://lgimh.blogspot.com/ (NO FLAG FEATURE)
http://theministryofboylove.blogspot.com/
http://viamund.blogspot.com/
http://ilgo.blogspot.com/
http://liberalleftistlunatic.blogspot.com/
http://rookiee.blogspot.com/
http://tnhn.blogspot.com/
http://thepuerist.blogspot.com/
http://realmschaotic.blogspot.com/
http://inselfdefense.blogspot.com/
http://refusing-to-be-silent.blogspot.com/
http://idiocymuseum.blogspot.com/
http://mysilentwar.blogspot.com/
http://debatecrime.blogspot.com/ (NO FLAG FEATURE)
http://gloriousgirls.blogspot.com/
http://nonce-and-forever.blogspot.com/
http://boyloveroll.blogspot.com/2006/08/disclaimer.html
http://waterchia.blogspot.com/2006/0...-chia-pet.html
http://absolutelynothingunified.blogspot.com/
http://love2uall-misunderstandings.blogspot.com/
http://camaa.blogspot.com/
http://themadalchemistsnook.blogspot.com/
http://informed101.blogspot.com/
http://daddysabreeder.blogspot.com/
http://www.foreversanti.blogspot.com/ (NO FLAG FEATURE, AND IT'S IN SPANISH)
http://themonsterinthecloset.blogspot.com/
http://virtual-diversity.blogspot.com/ (NO FLAG FEATURE)
http://propedo.blogspot.com/
http://alanthepedo.blogspot.com/
http://dark-freedom.blogspot.com/
http://artlesstruth.blogspot.com/
http://boystorynifty.blogspot.com/
http://pedologues.blogspot.com/

Please take care, each of you, protect yourself and those you love and those who could fall prey to these "people"

Peace, blessings and love to all of you

John and Keepers

Why?

For the last six weeks keepers have been babysitting our granddaughters at their house while our daughter was in an out patient program, this was three days a week. So those three days I would drop keepers off on my way to work then visit them and the girls at lunch time and then pick keepers up on my way home. We truly enjoyed being with the granddaughters so much, because before this we saw them seldom even though we live close.

The in laws get all the prime times with them especially holidays and special days. This isn't about them so i will just leave them there. Preceding these 6 weeks of assisting them keepers had discussions with our daughter about our son and his family, our daughter claimed to be seeing very little of him and his family. We have seen him hardly at all for a myriad of reasons. The most important of which is that since keepers are abuse survivors they are very sensitive to it. Our son as a teenager was asked to watch our neighbors house, feed the dog, cut the grass, etc. After they came back home we were presented with him having gotten into their teenage daughters underwear drawer. As Keepers were in therapy then we asked another therapist in that office to see him and help him.

When our oldest daughter was married in another state we all went there for the wedding, a lot of people were staying at their home those several days. After the wedding we were told that one of the couples that left to spend the last nights in a motel did so because our son was fondling her feet in the middle of the night, uninvited!

His step daughter is now a teen but has for years stuttered and acted rather oddly. We have our suspicions as to what may be going on. We were approached by the pastor who married our daughter if this young girl had any particular problems we knew of, because she seemed to be troubled to her. Another possible sign. Granted, her real father, supposedly is or was an alcoholic, her mother is a gem also, our son's wife, so the possibility exist that this child has been abused in one form or another by several people.

Now our daughters two daughters, the two keepers were babysitting for...keepers and I fear for their safety. Our daughter informed us today that our son and his family are a major part of their life, will always be invited to holidays and special days so he can be a part of the festivities.
After all we had told her, after her possibly being abused by keepers family also, after knowing that her older sister was not comfortabel around big brother, she still wants him to be a part of their life with their daughters! She says she is watching him and so is her husband, but she also lied about their relationship with him.

We told this son he needed help, he responded angrily and how he had never molested anyone (being a cop he is so well versed on his legalese) and how if we didn't leave him alone we would be sorry. We told him if we ever hear of anything inappropriate by him we will go to the authorities and at least fill in the background and let them go from there. So we are having a standoff with him at this point in time.

Keepers are devastated that the daughter would seemingly ignore their daughter's safety by letting him be around them. That she could look at his step daughter and not see probelms there. Said daughter worked in several hospitals and dealt with many abused girls and young women, she knows the effects, and yet she accepts him into her life so freely!

In several weeks we have an appointment with an attorney from the Attorney General's office because Keepers reported a former therapist to the State Licensing Board of Review, he is being charged on five counts and may lose his license. Perhaps then is when we need to speak up about this family, our son, his wife and let the authorities take it from there.

The cycle has to stop.

peace and blessings

john

Sick Therapists

Four years ago Keepers reported one of their former therapists to the State Licensing Board with the assistance of their then therapist. Like I said, that was four years ago. This Nov 28 the hearing will finally happen. There are 5 charges against him stemming from how he treated Keepers. We do not know what they are but the list is not complete. Keepers didn't even bring up some things that happened.

Ever since he was notified by the state he has tried to get keepers to change their mind, and he did get through to some and convinced them to rescind their complaint. Luckily the state said sorry but we have filed the charges after our investigation so we are going forward. Then for a long time we heard nothing. Then he starting calling me and sending me emails at work. I kept a log of his phone calls and saved the emails and forwarded all of that to the state. Then nothing again. Last Friday, how weird, it was Friday the 13th, he sent us a regular letter thru the mail and now he wants Keepers to assist him in standing up to the State and the "experts" because he knows how to treat multiples therapeutically!! But he needs their help and help of all multiples to beat the system!

We do not know if this is his next step in trying to confuse Keepers or if his cheese has slid off his cracker. I called the State Board and the local attorney for the Attorney Generals's office who is handling this and faxed and emailed a copy of his letter. The attornei I spoke with locally is also confused by his actions. The last time I spoke with her, back in July she said there was negotiations going on, maybe he would accept 2 charges if 3 were dropped, things of that sort, but today I was told he has cut off negotiations. He wants his hearing. No one knows what he is doing. Keepers are very confused because other therapists have labelled him a sociopath so not only are they confused but scared of him.

My whole point here is something I hae felt for a long time and several therapists somewhat agree with me, most people who get into the career of therapy have their own problems, most to a degree that does not prohibit their becoming a good therapist (I tend to not agree with this comment) but some (most) are just as messed up if not more than their patients. Like some who become clergy and use it to hide their perversions many therapists are also looking for victims who they can easily maneuver. There are few more vulnerable than multiple who were abused severely, their littles can be tricked just as they were many years ago. It takes a sick you know what to do it in the first place but it takes an even sicker person to capitalize on those suffering victims and revictimize them for their perverted pleasures.

To all and any of you out there who are seeking therapists for multiplicity and sexual abuse be very careful of your therapist. Be watchful for clues of misguided actions and ideas that you question somewhat. Your sense of something is not right should be listened to and heeded very strongly. Your initial or first impression should be listened to. It is your therapist, ask as many questions of them and other patients as possible. Try to check with the local governing body who licenses them and see if there are any complaints. Never ever stop listening to your inner selves if they are trying to warn you, there has to a reason they are setting off alarms!

What follows is an article I wrote for Many Voices, it has a checklist of sorts and maybe now is a time to bring it out of the mothballs so new visitors can read it...

Bad Therapy Warning Signs

By John W.

---

My wife, whose system is known as The Keepers, is recovering from DID. We have only been subscribing to Many Voices since December. We were wondering if there have been articles about abuse by therapists, or warning signs of an "evil therapist". By "evil" I mean anyone who derives their pleasures from tormenting someone who is so vulnerable.

We recently learned that her previous therapist was not what he claimed to be. The Keepers were advised by their new (legitimate) therapist that he should be reported to the state ethics board. With great trepidation, they did. Where this is going from here, we do not know, but Keepers are finding it extremely difficult to stay in therapy after being mistreated and betrayed by not one but two therapists in the last twenty years.

We would like to bring attention to warning signs for DID person and their loved ones to look out for:

• Beware of therapists who cannot prove their degree of certification or misrepresent themselves. If you are considering a therapist check them out as best you can.
• Beware of therapists who lead you to believe that they also have multiples like you do. It is one thing to be in touch with your inner self, but to say your little ones understand or your motherly side can comfort them, is all bull.
• Beware of therapists who will not read the latest articles or go to seminars because they think it is bologna or they know more already, or they don't respect psychologists and /or psychiatrists. Honest to God, this is what this one therapist said to us!
• Beware of therapists who say they will talk with another of your doctors, be it MD or another therapist and then do not follow through.
• Beware of therapists who say no one else can understand you like they do, because of their experience with you or because they have "connected" with you, for whatever reason.
• Beware of therapists who will not sign their name or position/title. This one used a "nickname". Never once did we ever receive anything in writing from him in his own name with his title or position.
• Beware of any therapist who promotes, allows, or encourages any sort of sexual interfacing between them and you, for whatever reason. It is never appropriate and is only for their benefit, not yours.
• Keep a diary of your therapy or have a loved one do it or perhaps both of you, especially if there appears to be anything unusual. No matter how many perspectives this results in, it is and will be beneficial.
• Beware of therapists who constantly complain about how much they are going through, how they are taking abuse from you, how you treat them badly.
• Beware of therapists who tell you they are the only one who can nurture you, who knows how to treat you best.

So, please be careful, heed warnings from yourself or others, be sure your therapist is what they say they are, and not another abuser searching for a way in.

Peace, blessings and love

john michael

Outcast

"Outcast" is one of the pictures done by Keepers, in this case by Beth. It will be in the Trauma Gallery later this month on their site, Keeperskorner. When I see this I think it is one of the pictures that presents the utter loneliness keepers have felt in their lives. I am sure it is a common conception for other survivors and multiples. Seeing that little girl sitting outside the castle, alone in the darkness of the night. There is no drawbridge or other means of getting back in, visible in the picture. She is alone, she is an outcast, and yet she is safer outside the castle than inside the castle. There are no threats to her as she sits in the moonlight. All of the dangers are inside the castle.

Others may see a little girl, alone in a make believe world of castles and dungeons, while others may see symbolism that to them says she is shutting the world out to protect herself. Maybe she is waiting for her knight in shining armor to rescue her, or maybe she just snuck out of a side door to get away from the craziness inside. We can all imagine based on our own preconceptions and past experiences what is being said via the painted canvas.

That is the beauty of art, especially art like this, we can read into it what we see, what we wish we saw, what we are afraid to see. We each can see something different. Some may look at it literally while others look for symbols. Some look at it and say "oh, I know exactly what the artist is saying" while others may ask "what in the world?"

What I can probably guarantee is that what you or me or someone else sees is not what Beth was painting. That is the beauty of it. Over the next several weeks I will present other art of keepers and see what you see, if you care to comment. So feel free to see what you see and tell us what you see. Did it touch you in any way? Did it bother you in any way? Sometimes I will let you know what the artist was presenting but usually not, they prefer that we each see what we see for ourselves, so we can get out of it what we feel with no influence in one way or another.

To all of our friends out there and the casual visitor remember the galleries at Keeperskorner are yours to visit for art and poetry.

Peace and blessings


john michael

Rebuttal

Well I got my first "angry" reply to one of my blogs, to read it and my reply go to the blog titled "Blogs We don't Understand".

The reply is from one of the pro pedophile sites that I blogged about.

I just wanted to make people aware of it so they can read it and examine his reply and mine to him.

Peace and blessings to all of you

john michael

Writer's Block

I had something I was going to write but I lost it, suddenly it was gone. Tried to jog my memory so I read keepers blog and then I read Beautiful Dreamer's blog, then I was p***** off because of what they both wrote about.

Keepers wrote about family members who are perpetuating the ways of the uncles and parents and grandmothers and brothers who are still carrying on the family ways of hurting children. Some are gone now but others are 2nd and third generation who are carrying it on. Some have not gone that far quite yet but we are afraid they will. We have made it very clear to them that we will report them if we find out they have done anything to any children.

Beautiful Dreamer wrote about feeling as though she was not worthy of any pleasure or anything pleasant and I cannot remember how often I heard keepers admit that which made me realize again, that abuse survivors are more similar than dissimilar. The feeling, the memories they have are so similar, so common that once you know one abuse survivor and some of their feelings, you know at least a good portion of other survivors feelings. All? No! But enough to know what and how they feel.

To be honest it disgusts me that their perpetrators were able to do what they did. Likewise their children are doing the same to others now and why oh why do the other family members sit by and say nothing? Do nothing? Even after it is verified by others in the family people will still do nothing!! I do not get it.

We have a family member very close to us we fear is a predator, we cannot prove he has hurt anyone yet though we do know he has crossed lines and boundaries not with a child but that makes no difference. Crossing a line and touching anyone against their will is wrong! That is all there is to it. To make matters worse and even more difficult is he is a policeman, and let's face it, he now has built in protection. Cops will protect cops, it's that simple. Especially when they are your father in law and brother in law.

So keepers and I try to warn people, try to get through to people all to no avail. We warn family members with little children and they say they will watch it but they still spend time with these people, we warn others and they say oh no we can't report him, it will hurt so and so's feelings!!!
Hurt so and so's feelings????? What about the step brother he s********?

I do not get it !!! This type of stuff just infuriates me, makes my blood boil but to what purpose?
Maybe to keep on doing what we are trying to do at Keepers Korner, to give survivors of abuse a place to go, to find out they are not alone, to find others who can identify with them and understand them. To offer resources, information, and general support. As each month goes by I see, keepers see, more and more people who have been abused, who are trying to survive. We get emails from them, messages via yahoo 360 or this blog, and we know the numbers are staggering. Even more staggering is the number of deviants who are hurting the children of our world. And they are not alone, they have brothers and sisters who enjoy abusing others, other children, other adults, other men other women and somehow, someway it has to stop.

We all need to pull together and do all we can to stop those who prowl looking for their next victim. Their next victim could be your son or daughter or niece or nephew. Maybe then you will help? But, it may well be too late by then. It's your decision. You can be part of the silent majority and do nothing, or you can be a part of the solution, and do something, anything that is helpful to past victims or helps prevent someone from becoming the next victim.

Peace and blessings

john michael and keepers

Government Forms

Filling out government forms...this is not a fun thing. All we wanted to do was file for being a charitable organization so we can get a tax exempt form so we don't have to pay sales tax for things we buy to send to people for free! And, if someday someone wants to make a donation to Keepers Korner we have the 501(c)(3) classification so their donation is a tax deduction.

That is all we wanted to accomplish. So far we have had to register Keepers Korner as a fictitious name in our home state, then to file the state exemption we have to get the same on a federal level. But, before that we had to get an Employer Identification Number, even if we don't have any employees! Go figure! So, then I called the IRS about three or four different times, asking questions and getting different answers, another big surprise, eh? We are now trying to fill out the 1023 form for federal exemption and classification as a charity. The form is 28 pages long!!

To file, it is either going to cost $300 or $750. That doesn't mean you will get the charity classification either!! The two different prices are based on donations incoming, and since ours is el zilcho we get the lower of the two. What a break eh?

Oh yeah, it takes a while for them to get back to you also. But that doesn't mean we don't have to file other paperwork, oh no!! At year end we have to file a form 1065 and write that we have applied for the 501(c)(3) and they will "take it from there". You want to kill some time on the internet, go out and read the government sites, for your state and federal, woof, talk about some exciting and clear to read sites!!!

Oh well, if nothing else this should make filing our taxes look really easy!! Have a good weekend and take care everybody.

Peace and blessings to all of you,


John and Keepers