JM is presenting this blog by Keepers from their blog because of the seriousness it directs to other multiples and survivors on the internet
Last night, keepers realized that Robert Fiebiger (our former therapist) has become active on Facebook. In all honesty, keepers have tried (very hard) to keep from ever, actually, placing this man's name on our blog. For obvious reasons, keepers see his name as having such bad karma that we do not want it associated with KK any more than necessary. However, keepers find it cause for very serious concern that this man is now attempting to make contact and develop friendships over the internet. We are concerned enough about this situation to post his name here on our blog--for those who choose to not read our "matter of public record papers" in our case against MR. Fiebiger. (I have capitalized the MR. because this therapist had keepers call him Dr. much of the time and because there are two separate places on the internet that address him as Dr. Robert Fiebiger. The truth of the matter is that he is qualified only to be called MISTER. He has no qualifications that make him deserving of the title Dr.) The name needs to be known so that multiples understand the dangers of him being active in cyberspace and are aware of the grave harm he can intentionally do to a trusting MPD/DID patient.
In his professional status, while working as keepers therapist of record, this man wrote one of our alters a letter of a very sexual nature which was not only unethical but crossed every boundary of the therapeutic relationship. If he did this to keepers under the guise of being our therapist, he would have no qualms at all about approaching any multiple on a sexual level via the internet. This man, also, built our therapeutic relationship on the basis of telling keepers he was a multiple, himself. The names of some of the alters he claimed to have are listed in our public papers. If he would feign multiplicity to suck keepers in and gain our trust in therapy, he would have no qualms at all about doing the same thing with a multiple over the internet. Of course, he was convicted on two other counts than the ones I have just mentioned but these are the two behaviors he has that cause us serious concern about him being active in the cyberworld where he could attempt to gain the trust of another multiple and do the same type of permanent harm he did to keepers under the umbrella of his professionalism. It seems to us that, if he did not possess the integrity to act as a competent therapist in his professional life, there is no reason to believe he would display such integrity while dealing with people on the net, either. A point of interest to you may be the fact that Robert Fiebiger chose to not appear in his own defense at the hearing held concerning our case. His failure to appear greatly limited the information presented in court which greatly limits how much keepers can say here about the horrors of any multiple having dealings with this man.
In today, keepers lives are what they are. The damage this therapist did to our marriage is something JM and keepers have to struggle with every single day. The damage this therapist did to keepers relationships with our external children has brought about the greatest loss keepers could have ever experienced. The damage this man did to keepers abilities to trust can not be put into words. The sad thing is that our official papers state that he willfully and purposefully did such grave harm to keepers. That is such a sad thing for any multiple to have to live with. To know that the therapist we trusted did this kind of grave harm to us on purpose. The fact that he handled his professional life this way speaks volumes about how little integrity he would have in his personal life or, worse yet, out there in cyber space.
Keepers have written this blog with his name stated clearly so that, as many multiples as possible, know to recognize the name Robert Fiebiger and remember the immense harm he did to keepers before making contact or developing a relationship with him in any way. We sincerely hope that our cyber friends will take this alert seriously and "stay safe" should the name Robert Fiebiger ever appear in the comments on your blog or anywhere else in your cyber life.
Peace and Blessings,
keepers
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Friday, November 14, 2008
Alert Regarding Keepers Former Therapist
ALERT: Keepers former therapist has become active on facebook. Here is a link to what he did, please use extreme caution if you run across him.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Something Is Rotten
A dear friend of keepers and myself, a woman who is a multiple, a woman we helped a year ago when her apartment flooded, a woman whose state appointed agency did nothing then to help her, a woman who keepers talk with every day, day in day out, has literally been buried alive in the system or it at least looks that way. They know each other, they trust each other, KK and keepers have helped them through some very rough times and this dear lady appreciates keepers and supports Keepers and KK emotionally and spiritually.
After KK and an affiliate ministry put her up for 3 days to get away from her mold infested apartment KK actually wrote to the state attorney general and lo and behold several months later, the case worker, the case manager and the caretaker were all fired or quit. Word was that the attorney general was investigating the caretaking company and was cleaning house. The only two we know of to not be replaced were the therapist, who is a social worker and the medical psychiatrist. New people were assigned to her case and things appeared to be turning around.
Keepers and her therapist had corresponded via emails, the therapist having no knowledge of MPD was asking Keepers for directions in things to read , who to read, etc and thanked Keepers for the friendship and assistance they offered to this lady.
The therapist was leaving this caretaking company and offered to take our friend to her private practice so she could continue to see her but all the rest would be handled by this organization, the caretaking, the caseworker, etc.
Suddenly things began to change, our friend told keepers they felt their T was threatening to hospitalize her or put her in a group home. She was in a group home and was raped and abused there so that was not an option as far as she was concerned.
This caretaking company was supposed to be sure our friend was taken to the grocery store to buy her groceries, taken to a laundromat to do her laundry and get help. She needed help because she has fibro, asthma, and several other physical infirmities. They do not do this on a constant basis. When her apartment was flooded her doctor gave her a letter to give to the apartment manager because the mold was not not being cleaned up nor was the flooding fixed, every time it rains halfway heavily her apartment flooded again. It took the case manager a week to get to our friend who was too sick to walk to the apartment managers office and give them the letter from the doctor for our friend.
Now, this past Thursday this lady called Keepers and also sent Keepers an email with a link in it. She received it from her therapist and was told to read it very thoroughly. It is a paper that presents a whole bunch of "reasons" for MPD/DID ranging from severe sexual abuse to alien abduction, to government CIA covert programs to SRA, from demon possession to therapist created. To say this upset her would be an understatement. On Friday morning she called Keepers to say goodbye, her T has called her, the case manager or worker was on their way to her apartment to take her to a state hospital! Keepers said she sounded drugged to a degree, her voice had no emotion, no feelings, very monotone.
Something about this whole thing smells to high heaven in my opinion. I want to write to the attorney general again but we have absolutely nothing concrete to send them. Let's be honest, we all have read horror stories about mental hospitals, much less a state hospital, and this woman is suddenly placed away. She has no family near her, no one to say, "where are you?" "Are you safe?" and that is rotten and disgusting and so offensive, that a person can be buried alive and swept under a carpet of bureaucracy.
This is not a happy trail
jw
After KK and an affiliate ministry put her up for 3 days to get away from her mold infested apartment KK actually wrote to the state attorney general and lo and behold several months later, the case worker, the case manager and the caretaker were all fired or quit. Word was that the attorney general was investigating the caretaking company and was cleaning house. The only two we know of to not be replaced were the therapist, who is a social worker and the medical psychiatrist. New people were assigned to her case and things appeared to be turning around.
Keepers and her therapist had corresponded via emails, the therapist having no knowledge of MPD was asking Keepers for directions in things to read , who to read, etc and thanked Keepers for the friendship and assistance they offered to this lady.
The therapist was leaving this caretaking company and offered to take our friend to her private practice so she could continue to see her but all the rest would be handled by this organization, the caretaking, the caseworker, etc.
Suddenly things began to change, our friend told keepers they felt their T was threatening to hospitalize her or put her in a group home. She was in a group home and was raped and abused there so that was not an option as far as she was concerned.
This caretaking company was supposed to be sure our friend was taken to the grocery store to buy her groceries, taken to a laundromat to do her laundry and get help. She needed help because she has fibro, asthma, and several other physical infirmities. They do not do this on a constant basis. When her apartment was flooded her doctor gave her a letter to give to the apartment manager because the mold was not not being cleaned up nor was the flooding fixed, every time it rains halfway heavily her apartment flooded again. It took the case manager a week to get to our friend who was too sick to walk to the apartment managers office and give them the letter from the doctor for our friend.
Now, this past Thursday this lady called Keepers and also sent Keepers an email with a link in it. She received it from her therapist and was told to read it very thoroughly. It is a paper that presents a whole bunch of "reasons" for MPD/DID ranging from severe sexual abuse to alien abduction, to government CIA covert programs to SRA, from demon possession to therapist created. To say this upset her would be an understatement. On Friday morning she called Keepers to say goodbye, her T has called her, the case manager or worker was on their way to her apartment to take her to a state hospital! Keepers said she sounded drugged to a degree, her voice had no emotion, no feelings, very monotone.
Something about this whole thing smells to high heaven in my opinion. I want to write to the attorney general again but we have absolutely nothing concrete to send them. Let's be honest, we all have read horror stories about mental hospitals, much less a state hospital, and this woman is suddenly placed away. She has no family near her, no one to say, "where are you?" "Are you safe?" and that is rotten and disgusting and so offensive, that a person can be buried alive and swept under a carpet of bureaucracy.
This is not a happy trail
jw
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Back to the Weblog
OKAY!!!! Andrzej our webmaster got the blog fixed, screw the hacker from Turkey(!!), and Keepers are back to blogging on the website blog over at Keepers Korner.
There are some changes being made there because to be quite honest not enough time or money to do everything we have been trying to do, not at this point in time anyway. So some services are being put on hold for now and some visiting of sites will be minimized to make time for Keepers to talk with people on the phone and answer emails, etc.
Hope everyone is having a good weekend so far
Happy trails
JM
There are some changes being made there because to be quite honest not enough time or money to do everything we have been trying to do, not at this point in time anyway. So some services are being put on hold for now and some visiting of sites will be minimized to make time for Keepers to talk with people on the phone and answer emails, etc.
Hope everyone is having a good weekend so far
Happy trails
JM
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Backup Time
Keepers are going to be posting at the backup blog until further notice. Why? The main blog got hacked again, this time by some knucklehead in Turkey! He was quite proud of it though I don't know why. Until Andrzej our webmaster and Wordpress can reset passwords and such we will have to move any new blogs to the old blog site, which is the backup blog. The address is on the sidebar, just click it or click here,
keeperskorner backup blog
Sorry for the inconvenience
happy trails
JM
keeperskorner backup blog
Sorry for the inconvenience
happy trails
JM
Thursday, August 07, 2008
People Who Don’t Get It
There are a lot of people in my life who just don’t get it. The “it” is that my wife, your mother, your daughter in law, your granddaughter in law, your sister, your niece, your cousin, I think you get my point, deserves to be respected, but you don’t get that.
Today Keepers called me from home as the mail arrived, and in that mail was a note from my father’s current wife, addressed to me only, it was written to me only, no Mr and Mrs or J and T just me. One can imagine how that made Keepers feel. The note was to tell me they lived in so and so city and my dad was okay and we must have changed our phone number and not told anyone (duh!). In between Keepers hurt and anger over being neglected and treated as though they don’t exist I told them to put it in the trash since that is where it belongs.
I have walked away from my family and from most of hers for this one very big reason, they treat Keepers like they do not exist or with no respect at all. We quit visiting my grandmother as she constantly picked on Keepers and made snide remarks about the smallest of things. She passed away last November a cold, bitter and lonely person who had turned to our son for whatever reason and now he will inherit whatever she had left of her savings. I could have played her sick game and continued to ignore that she ignored Keepers or made her typical snide comments, it was not worth it in any way, shape or form.
I gave in to our kids behaviors for a long time and I finally saw the error of my ways which in turn got me exiled from their lives just as Keepers had been, big deal. I would rather be with keepers than our kids and grandkids and have to put up with them and their manipulative and abusive behaviors.
I will continue to proudly stand at Keepers side, alone if need be, and walk together with them and whoever else chooses to be with us as we continue this journey. I honestly believe these people do not get it. Keepers have one brother I enjoy and feel he understands, but he is the only one who faced himself and quit drinking and carousing and went back to his wife and has entered therapy to examine his motivations. Yes he was abused also as was all of Keeper’s siblings and he has begun his own journey of healing. He recognizes the games and the fact that these people who are so lost in their games truly cannot ever get well, not until they stop the abusive and mean and cruel behaviors they currently exhibit which won’t happen until they get help and perform deep soul searching.
Keepers and JM are not perfect by any means, we never claimed to be, but we do know we are on a safer and saner path than we have ever been on before and that is what these others do not and cannot get. In their eyes, if you are different than them in your behavior and what you accept and what you tolerate and respect then you cannot be a part of their world. You do not fit in.
I am glad we do not fit in their world, I don’t want to be a part of it with it’s using people, whether for money or sexual gratification or power mongering or self denial or whatever, to me I cannot be friends or friendly with people who constantly hurt the person I love more than anything or anyone else..
I know there were times I disrespected Keepers and for those times I have apologized and I am truly sorry I did what I did. Until these other people can apologize, from their hearts and truly treat Keepers differently, I will not be a part of their lives in any manner. My place is here with the people I know as Keepers. I am glad I get it.
Happy trails
JM
Today Keepers called me from home as the mail arrived, and in that mail was a note from my father’s current wife, addressed to me only, it was written to me only, no Mr and Mrs or J and T just me. One can imagine how that made Keepers feel. The note was to tell me they lived in so and so city and my dad was okay and we must have changed our phone number and not told anyone (duh!). In between Keepers hurt and anger over being neglected and treated as though they don’t exist I told them to put it in the trash since that is where it belongs.
I have walked away from my family and from most of hers for this one very big reason, they treat Keepers like they do not exist or with no respect at all. We quit visiting my grandmother as she constantly picked on Keepers and made snide remarks about the smallest of things. She passed away last November a cold, bitter and lonely person who had turned to our son for whatever reason and now he will inherit whatever she had left of her savings. I could have played her sick game and continued to ignore that she ignored Keepers or made her typical snide comments, it was not worth it in any way, shape or form.
I gave in to our kids behaviors for a long time and I finally saw the error of my ways which in turn got me exiled from their lives just as Keepers had been, big deal. I would rather be with keepers than our kids and grandkids and have to put up with them and their manipulative and abusive behaviors.
I will continue to proudly stand at Keepers side, alone if need be, and walk together with them and whoever else chooses to be with us as we continue this journey. I honestly believe these people do not get it. Keepers have one brother I enjoy and feel he understands, but he is the only one who faced himself and quit drinking and carousing and went back to his wife and has entered therapy to examine his motivations. Yes he was abused also as was all of Keeper’s siblings and he has begun his own journey of healing. He recognizes the games and the fact that these people who are so lost in their games truly cannot ever get well, not until they stop the abusive and mean and cruel behaviors they currently exhibit which won’t happen until they get help and perform deep soul searching.
Keepers and JM are not perfect by any means, we never claimed to be, but we do know we are on a safer and saner path than we have ever been on before and that is what these others do not and cannot get. In their eyes, if you are different than them in your behavior and what you accept and what you tolerate and respect then you cannot be a part of their world. You do not fit in.
I am glad we do not fit in their world, I don’t want to be a part of it with it’s using people, whether for money or sexual gratification or power mongering or self denial or whatever, to me I cannot be friends or friendly with people who constantly hurt the person I love more than anything or anyone else..
I know there were times I disrespected Keepers and for those times I have apologized and I am truly sorry I did what I did. Until these other people can apologize, from their hearts and truly treat Keepers differently, I will not be a part of their lives in any manner. My place is here with the people I know as Keepers. I am glad I get it.
Happy trails
JM
Monday, July 28, 2008
A Celebration of Birth and of Life
This Friday, August 01, is the birthday for Keepers, the birthday of the little baby from where the Keepers came. A baby so unloved and disrespected by her parents that she began to split off almost right away, a baby that has grown very little over the years and a baby I am pleased to have met and held and cuddled. She is as cute as can be and I love her with all my heart. I wish I could see her more than I do but I hope she knows how much I love her and care about her and want to protect her and wish I could have protected her so many years ago. I love you baby and wish you Happy Birthday from JM.
To all the other keepers who have protected baby and the body these 58 years I also want to wish you a Happy Birthday, though your birth dates are all over the place as you all came at different times over the years I wanted to make that wish for you and to also honor all that you have accomplished.
A lot of people have milestone birthdays celebrated, you know, sweet sixteen or 21 or 30, 40, 50, etc just for reaching that milestone. I want to make this Friday a celebration of all you have accomplished, overcome, become. By working together you have all protected baby as much as you could, you overcame a life of dread and sheer violence and torture emotionally and physically to become a system that offers other systems hope and guidance and a realization that all of the abuse and neglect and such can be beaten and you can become a better person than those who molded you or attempted to. I say that because they failed in their endeavor to destroy you. Yes they shattered poor baby into so many others but they did not beat you. Over time and many years of self help thrown in with some therapeutic help Keepers can proudly say they stood up to the family that created them and still tries to have its way with its children or cover it up. Keepers bravely reported them and walked away from the family, mother, father, siblings and cousins and aunts and uncles and yes even children. Some you walked away from as they would not change their ways, some because they refused to acknowledge what happened to you, its effect on you or what was happening to others in the family who were being put through the same terrible treatment. Some rejected you, some because they could not manipulate you anymore, you had moved past that point. Some separated themselves because you reported them and they knew they were wrong but did not attempt to reconcile and in truth I doubt a reconciliation could be made at this point without assurances somehow that they had truly changed. Others, I fear, walked away because of our association with others in the family and now do not know we too are separate and not in those lives anymore.
The point is you did the right thing, you took the high road and because you did you have lost a lot, a lot of family, a lot of “friends” who were really just more users. You had a rough road to go and over the years you survived, at times just barely, you were lost in self medicating and you overcame that. You overcame alcohol and prescription drug abuse. You overcame and escaped from one abusive therapist and several who were just terrible and had no real idea what they were doing.. Do you know I watched as you took in papers to therapists because they did not know what was out there about DID/MPD? How sad is it when the patient can bring in information the therapist has not seen or even tried to find?
Over the years I watched you do everything you could to keep everyone happy. That included your family and our children. You made very attempt by many different keepers to be what every one of them wanted you to be for them whether it was your parents or your brothers and sister or your kids or grandparents or whoever, even therapists. I watched you bend over and over to make them happy, and yes even bending and doing all you could to be the wife I expected you to be. I also was able to watch as you finally overcame all of us and became you, the collective known as Keepers who were finally strong enough and knowledgeable enough about the system to realize you deserved to be treated differently, to not have to bend to everyone’s desires and whims and expectations.. I saw you stand straighter and taller and more proud of yourselves than ever before. That is truly worth celebrating.
As I look at Keepers today I see someone who manages Keepers Korner and gives 110% of themselves to it. In my opinion every Keeper in some way contributes to bits and pieces of the entire operation. Yes many are behind the scenes but all are involved, some may be just by sharing their feelings and emotions to those dealing with phone calls or emails as you try to console someone or hear and understand what they are saying, while others create the artwork or write the blogs or put the words to the paper in their poetry or talk with Pastor about how to help someone in his flock. There is an awful lot of good Keepers do, and have done. The difference now is that I think the visitors to Keepers Korner and the callers who call appreciate what you do. Your children, your family, cannot appreciate what you do because they do not have it in them to help people unselfishly as you do. They are looking at “what can you do for me” while you are looking at “what can I do for you?” This is not a new concept for Keepers who have always tried to satisfy everyone else, the difference is now Keepers make their offers to people who need what Keepers offer and are not asking for it for their own selfish needs.
I hope everyone out there will join me in celebrating who and what Keepers are, especially on their birthday this Friday. They give of themselves to help others, as you try to make others lives a little better, to make a little more sense and to know that someone out there cares.
As the commercial used to say “You’ve come a long way, baby!” Congratulations and Happy Birthday!!
Love you all
JM
To all the other keepers who have protected baby and the body these 58 years I also want to wish you a Happy Birthday, though your birth dates are all over the place as you all came at different times over the years I wanted to make that wish for you and to also honor all that you have accomplished.
A lot of people have milestone birthdays celebrated, you know, sweet sixteen or 21 or 30, 40, 50, etc just for reaching that milestone. I want to make this Friday a celebration of all you have accomplished, overcome, become. By working together you have all protected baby as much as you could, you overcame a life of dread and sheer violence and torture emotionally and physically to become a system that offers other systems hope and guidance and a realization that all of the abuse and neglect and such can be beaten and you can become a better person than those who molded you or attempted to. I say that because they failed in their endeavor to destroy you. Yes they shattered poor baby into so many others but they did not beat you. Over time and many years of self help thrown in with some therapeutic help Keepers can proudly say they stood up to the family that created them and still tries to have its way with its children or cover it up. Keepers bravely reported them and walked away from the family, mother, father, siblings and cousins and aunts and uncles and yes even children. Some you walked away from as they would not change their ways, some because they refused to acknowledge what happened to you, its effect on you or what was happening to others in the family who were being put through the same terrible treatment. Some rejected you, some because they could not manipulate you anymore, you had moved past that point. Some separated themselves because you reported them and they knew they were wrong but did not attempt to reconcile and in truth I doubt a reconciliation could be made at this point without assurances somehow that they had truly changed. Others, I fear, walked away because of our association with others in the family and now do not know we too are separate and not in those lives anymore.
The point is you did the right thing, you took the high road and because you did you have lost a lot, a lot of family, a lot of “friends” who were really just more users. You had a rough road to go and over the years you survived, at times just barely, you were lost in self medicating and you overcame that. You overcame alcohol and prescription drug abuse. You overcame and escaped from one abusive therapist and several who were just terrible and had no real idea what they were doing.. Do you know I watched as you took in papers to therapists because they did not know what was out there about DID/MPD? How sad is it when the patient can bring in information the therapist has not seen or even tried to find?
Over the years I watched you do everything you could to keep everyone happy. That included your family and our children. You made very attempt by many different keepers to be what every one of them wanted you to be for them whether it was your parents or your brothers and sister or your kids or grandparents or whoever, even therapists. I watched you bend over and over to make them happy, and yes even bending and doing all you could to be the wife I expected you to be. I also was able to watch as you finally overcame all of us and became you, the collective known as Keepers who were finally strong enough and knowledgeable enough about the system to realize you deserved to be treated differently, to not have to bend to everyone’s desires and whims and expectations.. I saw you stand straighter and taller and more proud of yourselves than ever before. That is truly worth celebrating.
As I look at Keepers today I see someone who manages Keepers Korner and gives 110% of themselves to it. In my opinion every Keeper in some way contributes to bits and pieces of the entire operation. Yes many are behind the scenes but all are involved, some may be just by sharing their feelings and emotions to those dealing with phone calls or emails as you try to console someone or hear and understand what they are saying, while others create the artwork or write the blogs or put the words to the paper in their poetry or talk with Pastor about how to help someone in his flock. There is an awful lot of good Keepers do, and have done. The difference now is that I think the visitors to Keepers Korner and the callers who call appreciate what you do. Your children, your family, cannot appreciate what you do because they do not have it in them to help people unselfishly as you do. They are looking at “what can you do for me” while you are looking at “what can I do for you?” This is not a new concept for Keepers who have always tried to satisfy everyone else, the difference is now Keepers make their offers to people who need what Keepers offer and are not asking for it for their own selfish needs.
I hope everyone out there will join me in celebrating who and what Keepers are, especially on their birthday this Friday. They give of themselves to help others, as you try to make others lives a little better, to make a little more sense and to know that someone out there cares.
As the commercial used to say “You’ve come a long way, baby!” Congratulations and Happy Birthday!!
Love you all
JM
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Watching them Help
Keepers are right now on the telephone, it is 11:21 pm and they are talking with a little from someones system, a very scared little who needs someone to listen to her, someone to hear what she is saying, someone to tell her it will all get better. This is not unusual for keepers to be doing this. This what they often do, over the telephone or via email or IM'ing on the computer, listening to people who have no one to turn to, or feel like they have no one to turn to, whichever makes no difference, they need someone and they turned to Keepers and Keepers are doing all they can do to help this little one.
I could not do this, I do not have the correct perspective since I am not multiple nor am I an abuse survivor. I can only sit here on the sideline and do what I can do to help Keepers have the time to talk and listen to others. This is how keepers Korner functions, they handle the person to person stuff and I handle the routine emails and site issues, coordinate things with Andrzej and so on.
I know Keepers do what many T's cannot do, for the same reason i can't either. They are not multiples or abuse survivors, at least not the majority that I have heard of. Based on how most of them treat their patients they are clueless in many aspects. Maybe that is why many turn to Keepers. Some T's have turned to Keepers over these last several years, to ask questions of them, to ask how best to help their patient or understand their patient. What Keepers do is remarkable in my view. I do not think I could ever do what they do. They do have some sort of calling to do this, one they realized and swore to do. They have made a commitment to be there.
Does that mean they can handle it all alone or hour after hour, no. They need breaks and timeouts and time to let their hair down and just chill sometimes. Why? Because they don't tell anyone that their time is up, see you next week. I have seen them sit on the phone or computer all night to be with someone as long as they needed them.
What I am saying is that I truly respect what they do, how well they do it, and how much they give of themselves, unselfishly. I only wish they had someone like them to turn to when they were so needful many years ago. For those who have access to keepers now I know Keepers will be there for you, all they ask is that someday you be there for someone else.
Happy trails
JM
I could not do this, I do not have the correct perspective since I am not multiple nor am I an abuse survivor. I can only sit here on the sideline and do what I can do to help Keepers have the time to talk and listen to others. This is how keepers Korner functions, they handle the person to person stuff and I handle the routine emails and site issues, coordinate things with Andrzej and so on.
I know Keepers do what many T's cannot do, for the same reason i can't either. They are not multiples or abuse survivors, at least not the majority that I have heard of. Based on how most of them treat their patients they are clueless in many aspects. Maybe that is why many turn to Keepers. Some T's have turned to Keepers over these last several years, to ask questions of them, to ask how best to help their patient or understand their patient. What Keepers do is remarkable in my view. I do not think I could ever do what they do. They do have some sort of calling to do this, one they realized and swore to do. They have made a commitment to be there.
Does that mean they can handle it all alone or hour after hour, no. They need breaks and timeouts and time to let their hair down and just chill sometimes. Why? Because they don't tell anyone that their time is up, see you next week. I have seen them sit on the phone or computer all night to be with someone as long as they needed them.
What I am saying is that I truly respect what they do, how well they do it, and how much they give of themselves, unselfishly. I only wish they had someone like them to turn to when they were so needful many years ago. For those who have access to keepers now I know Keepers will be there for you, all they ask is that someday you be there for someone else.
Happy trails
JM
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Desperate Words
I have tried to write this blog over and over and over, and I cannot even get past the first sentence. All of the negatives of their lives vastly outweigh the positives of their lives. At this point, they see no reason to go on and would welcome death. Only because my mother committed suicide and they saw what that brought about did they once promise to never do that to those they love. If not for that I imagine they would no longer exist.
Please pray that they see they do make a difference to people who know the real them. That everyone is not like those who used them, abused them, picked on them, walked away from them, shunned them, minimized what they went through then and now, etc.
They are alone. They want to die. They want the aloneness to end.
Thank you for your prayers.
JM
Please pray that they see they do make a difference to people who know the real them. That everyone is not like those who used them, abused them, picked on them, walked away from them, shunned them, minimized what they went through then and now, etc.
They are alone. They want to die. They want the aloneness to end.
Thank you for your prayers.
JM
Monday, May 26, 2008
RAIN, rain and more of it
- Ever see Paint Your Wagon? The scene of the rain, the bloody bloody rain, a mud encased mining town with a bunch of wet, muddy miners, well that is what we look like this Memorial Day Weekend, wet and muddy and soggy. To be honest it did stop today, but what is unusual about that is that last Thursday our local weather people were forecasting rain for today and hot and sunny saturday and sunday, well it was just the opposite, Friday night, rain, Saturday day and night, rain, Sunday, rain off and on then rain last night, and today cloudy and overcast changing to sunny BUT sometime tonight more storms moving in for tonight and tomorrow!!!!
At 5 o'clock the weather people on tv said we are now 12 inches above normal for this year.The last several years we have been under, drought like conditions, but now we are way over, feast or famine I guess.
So I never was able to mow the yard and by the time I can it will knee high to me and that is not good. EEEhah, more fun! So how has your Memorial Day weekend been? Must admit we did have some good food, all of the bbq variety. Hot dogs on Saturday, pork ribs on Sunday and chicken breasts today, got our fill of bbq for a few days that is for sure.
We even stayed up late one night and watched some movies. Let keepers teens pick the movies last night, watched Footloose and Flashdance, looks like tonight it will be Benny & Joon with Jonny Depp, I have really come to appreciate him as an actor, so it should be enjoyable.
Tomorrow it is back to work, would rather stay home with keepers and wor on keepers korner but until we win the lottery have to keep on working.
happy trails to all
JM
Monday, May 05, 2008
Proud of Keepers
Today Keepers took their story about the former therapist to a local news reporter. He interviewed them about DID, about the former therapist, about what he did, etc. and Keepers gracefully answered his questions, gave him details and yes, even laughed with him. They were so worried about looking foolish, not only for themselves but for multiples in general. They know that some people will see them on local TV tonight and scoff, while others may make dumb comments and some will genuinely be interested and maybe, just maybe, another patient of a therapist who is also being a jerk will realize they can find help, that there are people who will listen and contact the state board or even the reporter.
It is less than two hours until the sotry will be on tv so they are anxiously awaiting it to air. Every indication is that he will handle it respectfully. After he and the cameraman left I asked her if she still wanted her face blurred as he had offered to do so I ran out to ask before they left and he said yes they could but by then she realized, she had nothing to hide. Do not blur out our face, we are who we are.
Have I said yet how proud I am of Keepers? I am. They continue to amaze me, how they have grown, how they have stood up for themselves, how they know that any way they are presented to the public, via internet, or newsletter or local tv or in a video on youtube, they are a representative of multiples everywhere. This is what saved them, and they have nothing to be ashamed of.
I know I am not ashamed of them in any way, shape or form, but I sure as heck am proud of them!
happy trails
JM
It is less than two hours until the sotry will be on tv so they are anxiously awaiting it to air. Every indication is that he will handle it respectfully. After he and the cameraman left I asked her if she still wanted her face blurred as he had offered to do so I ran out to ask before they left and he said yes they could but by then she realized, she had nothing to hide. Do not blur out our face, we are who we are.
Have I said yet how proud I am of Keepers? I am. They continue to amaze me, how they have grown, how they have stood up for themselves, how they know that any way they are presented to the public, via internet, or newsletter or local tv or in a video on youtube, they are a representative of multiples everywhere. This is what saved them, and they have nothing to be ashamed of.
I know I am not ashamed of them in any way, shape or form, but I sure as heck am proud of them!
happy trails
JM
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
MeMe Time
I’ve been tagged for a meme by SilveryLizard at Another Room. This is my first one so here goes.
Rules of the “Survivor Needs” Meme:
Please link back to the originating meme at Survivors Can Thrive, so people can see its origins, get ideas for their own self-care list, see who’s already been tagged, and maybe we can track how far this meme goes.
- List 25 needs and 5 wants. Try to restrict your needs list to things that have to do with being a survivor of some sort of abuse, assault, etc. Your list can be anything…you want!
- Use this list to remind yourself to get your needs met in the New Year.
- Pass on this meme and tag five people to play this meme with you.
Needs:
1.) I need to be with Keepers, the babies, littles, smalls, teens, adults, all of them.
2.) I need to be able to provide the support and assistance they need to keep on keeping on.
3.) I need to help them help others
4.) I need our goofy cats, Owen and Max
5.) I need to remember there is only so much I can do and do that to the best of my ability
6.) I need to be a friend to keepers and others I meet along the way
7.) I need down time
8.) I need to focus on the job at hand
9.) I also need to be silly more often instead of so serious
10.) I need my new tv, it is so cool
11.) I need to hear what others are saying
12.) I need to keep the car cleaner
13.) I need to get the oil changed more frequently
14.) I need to control my temper more
15.) I need to respect myself
16.) I need to be happy and focus on the next 5 minutes
17.) I need to feel like Keepers and JM are safe
18.) I need my favorite foods
19.) I need springtime
20.) I need my sleep
21.) I need to curl up with keepers each night in bed as we sleep
22.) I need to remember how awesome God's creatures are and give them love and care and respect, human and animal, all too often the animals more so
23.) I need a good juicy steak and mushrooms every once in a while
23.) I need a nice 7 and 7 every once in a while
24.) I need to get out once in a while for a drive or ride, up the River Road to watch eagles or just look at the river flowing
25.) I need to see and hear funny things to make me laugh
5 WANTS JM HAS
1.) To continue helping Keepers with Keepers Korner but full time
2.) To do that full time I want to win the lottery so a job is not necessary
3.) To buy a cool convertible, for those rides to meet Pastor or up the River Road
4.) To take Keepers to Ireland
5.) To meet more of the people we have met online via Keepers Korner
Now I tag Elvina at A Gift From WithinFriday, February 08, 2008
Kirkwood, MO Another view
As we watched the news last evening regarding the shooting in Kirkwood, MO several things came to the forefront. One was the fact that our son is a county police officer and every time keepers see or hear about a policeman being shot they go into a panic that it could be him. I imagine this is normal whether one is multiple or not, it has to be a fear of any one who knows a police officer, and even more for a mother.
The other thing was that the shootings were about three blocks away from where keepers ex T had his office so they were often in that neighborhood. In fact it was in their mind and mine that it could be him. A man labeled as a sociopath by fellow therapists, a man who had had similar issues with the same zoning commission, a man whose wife filed for divorce, a man who has had his license suspended for 3 years may well have snapped and gone the same route.
As I said in my previous post, there seems to be a lot Kirkwood today in this country of ours, and they all are needless and senseless. The agony they inflict on all involved is so damaging to the human spirit. These are not easy circumstances to overcome, for many they will never be overcome. The questions will linger, the whys will have no answers, the what could I have dones will make no difference, it will be too late. Unless we as a race, as a civilization, and a species, learn to control our anger, our hurt, our rage. I am by no means saying we need to bury our feelings but we do need to find safe and healthy ways to deal with our emotions and those who we are at odds with.
Killing each other is not the answer.
Safe and happy trails
JM
The other thing was that the shootings were about three blocks away from where keepers ex T had his office so they were often in that neighborhood. In fact it was in their mind and mine that it could be him. A man labeled as a sociopath by fellow therapists, a man who had had similar issues with the same zoning commission, a man whose wife filed for divorce, a man who has had his license suspended for 3 years may well have snapped and gone the same route.
As I said in my previous post, there seems to be a lot Kirkwood today in this country of ours, and they all are needless and senseless. The agony they inflict on all involved is so damaging to the human spirit. These are not easy circumstances to overcome, for many they will never be overcome. The questions will linger, the whys will have no answers, the what could I have dones will make no difference, it will be too late. Unless we as a race, as a civilization, and a species, learn to control our anger, our hurt, our rage. I am by no means saying we need to bury our feelings but we do need to find safe and healthy ways to deal with our emotions and those who we are at odds with.
Killing each other is not the answer.
Safe and happy trails
JM
Kirkwood, MO. 2/07/2008
Yesterday evening a way too often scene was reenacted right here in the heart of America. For whatever reason it happened, for whatever reasoning the gentleman was using in his obviously not in control state, his only way to resolve things was to take a gun and to start shooting, to take other lives and force those sworn to protect to take his.
In the end, Charles Lee "Cookie" Thornton lie dead in the Kirkwood City Hall, as did four of his five victims, the fifth was dead on the parking lot, his first victim and from whom he acquired his second gun with which he invaded the city council meeting room and began shooting. Two victims are in the hospital, a reporter whose wound was to the hand and the mayor of Kirkwood who has a gunshot wound to the head and has as of right now still not had surgery, why we do not know.
Keepers and I watched our TV as the local news channels reported on the situation, it began around seven in the evening and the information came in, slowly, some of it spilling over to this morning. On our local channel 5 it was obvious the newslady anchor lived in Kirkwood as she fought back the tears of reporting on this tragedy in her home town, a story that we knew tragically involved people she knew.
This morning as I looked on the computer, and there was another similar story, BATON ROUGE, La. (AP) -- A 23-year-old woman killed two fellow students with a .357 revolver in a classroom at a vocational college Friday, then committed suicide, police said.
These stories have become the norm instead of the unusual. In this great country where we sound our trumpet about our civil liberties and freedoms we can count that one about bearing arms in order protect ourselves and our families, those we love. Yet, that freedom also allows the taking of lives as people take that freedom and in their anger, their sorrow, their inbound demons, they take the lives of others and often themselves.
I know not what set these people off, I do know there have been times I would have loved to taken a baseball bat to some people and beat the you know what out of them for what they did to people I love and care for. But I did not.
I know I would have hated myself if I had, no matter how much it was deserved in my view. It is not up to me to punish anyone in that manner, to impart physical harm whether from my own fists, or my baseball bat or a handgun I could have in my possession to protect my home and those I love.
I have no right from God or my fellow man to take another's life without mine or my loved ones being in danger themselves. But, everyday we see and hear more stories like the two above. Here, where you live, anywhere across this country of ours. In large metropolitan areas, in the suburbs, in the country. It has become way to common, too every day, too "normal".
We shake our heads in disbelief but why I do not know. We should be getting used to this by now,
it happens everyday, over and over and over. Lives are taken indiscriminately. Futures are lost. Parents, children and loved ones are taken away in a second never to be held again. What could have been no longer can be. The expectations and hopes are now buried with the bodies of the victims and yes even the assassins. Anyone who was touched by or associated with the players in these dramas are forever tainted and disillusioned to some degree.
What we do to ourselves is beyond my comprehension. May God have mercy on us.
JM
In the end, Charles Lee "Cookie" Thornton lie dead in the Kirkwood City Hall, as did four of his five victims, the fifth was dead on the parking lot, his first victim and from whom he acquired his second gun with which he invaded the city council meeting room and began shooting. Two victims are in the hospital, a reporter whose wound was to the hand and the mayor of Kirkwood who has a gunshot wound to the head and has as of right now still not had surgery, why we do not know.
Keepers and I watched our TV as the local news channels reported on the situation, it began around seven in the evening and the information came in, slowly, some of it spilling over to this morning. On our local channel 5 it was obvious the newslady anchor lived in Kirkwood as she fought back the tears of reporting on this tragedy in her home town, a story that we knew tragically involved people she knew.
This morning as I looked on the computer, and there was another similar story, BATON ROUGE, La. (AP) -- A 23-year-old woman killed two fellow students with a .357 revolver in a classroom at a vocational college Friday, then committed suicide, police said.
These stories have become the norm instead of the unusual. In this great country where we sound our trumpet about our civil liberties and freedoms we can count that one about bearing arms in order protect ourselves and our families, those we love. Yet, that freedom also allows the taking of lives as people take that freedom and in their anger, their sorrow, their inbound demons, they take the lives of others and often themselves.
I know not what set these people off, I do know there have been times I would have loved to taken a baseball bat to some people and beat the you know what out of them for what they did to people I love and care for. But I did not.
I know I would have hated myself if I had, no matter how much it was deserved in my view. It is not up to me to punish anyone in that manner, to impart physical harm whether from my own fists, or my baseball bat or a handgun I could have in my possession to protect my home and those I love.
I have no right from God or my fellow man to take another's life without mine or my loved ones being in danger themselves. But, everyday we see and hear more stories like the two above. Here, where you live, anywhere across this country of ours. In large metropolitan areas, in the suburbs, in the country. It has become way to common, too every day, too "normal".
We shake our heads in disbelief but why I do not know. We should be getting used to this by now,
it happens everyday, over and over and over. Lives are taken indiscriminately. Futures are lost. Parents, children and loved ones are taken away in a second never to be held again. What could have been no longer can be. The expectations and hopes are now buried with the bodies of the victims and yes even the assassins. Anyone who was touched by or associated with the players in these dramas are forever tainted and disillusioned to some degree.
What we do to ourselves is beyond my comprehension. May God have mercy on us.
JM
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Something is Wrong In the State of Missouri
Keepers have been waiting 7 long years from when they first reported their former therapist to the State Committee of Psychologists for inappropriate and unprofessional behavior. Seven long years of him asking for and receiving at least 3 continuances, then the dispositions, the state investigators asking questions, the former therapist still contacting keepers, trying to talk them out of their suit, then the assistant Attorney General telling them how important it was to see this through, going to the state capital for the hearing which he did not even show up for!! Why you ask? Because his attorneys told him he had no chance of winning, the evidence was overwhelming. Even after the hearing it took another 7 months just to get the formal decision, guilty on 4 counts, then another wait for the discipline hearing in December of this past year and then another 6 weeks of waiting for the final discipline. The Attorney General told us they were asking that he be severely sentenced, and today we received the official sentence, 3 years suspended license and 5 years probation. His suspension is less than half the time keepers waited for this entire process to take.
Then he can go back to seeing patients. No mention of any other limitations, none whatsoever.
What follows is my letter to the Executive Director of the Committee:
Then he can go back to seeing patients. No mention of any other limitations, none whatsoever.
What follows is my letter to the Executive Director of the Committee:
Pamela G
Executive Director
Dear Ms. G
This is to advise you and the State Committee of Psychologists that the 17 years of inept
and devious therapy, which was upheld in testimony of my wife and the expert witness, as well as the 7 years of waiting while Mr. F got continuance after continuance because things were not convenient for him, has in my opinion, not been fairly evaluated in his disciplinary hearing.
can the committee?
Sincerely
John W
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Georgia football great Herschel Walker has multiple personalities
ATLANTA - Georgia football great Herschel Walker has multiple personalities - a revelation in an upcoming book that surprises the man who coached the 1982 Heisman Trophy winner.
"That's all news to me," former Georgia coach Vince Dooley said in Friday editions of The Atlanta Journal-Constitution. "All I know is whatever personality he had when he had the football was the one I liked."
I put this here with no other knowledge of the situation other than seeing this headline. It is my hope that with a celebrity personality more attention will be brought to the fact of what MPD/DID is and what needs to be done. I only hope it is positive attention.
happy trails
JW
 |  |
| |
| Legendary Georgia running back Herschel Walker has multiple personalities. |
"Breaking Free" will chronicle Walker's life with multiple personality disorder, according to Shida Carr, a publicist at Simon & Schuster.
Carr said the book will be published in August, but gave no other details and declined to provide excerpts.
In three seasons at Georgia, Walker led the Bulldogs to a 33-3-1 record, three straight Southeastern Conference championships and the 1980 national title. He won the Heisman as a junior, then left school a year early to sign with the now-defunct U.S. Football League.
Walker played for the Dallas Cowboys, Minnesota Vikings, Philadelphia Eagles and New York Giants. He has lived in Dallas since his playing career ended.
A former Georgia teammate also was caught off guard by Walker's revelation.
"I'm probably one of his closest friends and that's news to me," said Frank Ros, who was captain of Georgia's 1980 national championship team. "I knew he was working on a book but I just thought it was about football. He does 100 things at once and always has projects going on, but that blows me away."
The newspaper said Walker could not be reached for comment.
Multiple personality disorder, also known as dissociative identity disorder, is a rare mental condition in which one person has two or more distinct personalities, according to the Merck Manual of Medical Information.I put this here with no other knowledge of the situation other than seeing this headline. It is my hope that with a celebrity personality more attention will be brought to the fact of what MPD/DID is and what needs to be done. I only hope it is positive attention.
happy trails
JW
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