I am sorry to admit that i have said things to people at times that was mean and or cruel, not intentionally but more through not thinking before I spoke or wrote and generally as a much younger person. As I have grown older and seen more I often wonder why people in their 30's, 40's and even in their 90's can say so many mean and cruel things to people as if they have absolutely no effect on those they speak to! Are they that clueless that they do not realize the hurt they are inflicting? Are they that ignorant? Or...are they that mean and cruel?
A friend of ours just went through this, when their weight was the butt of their other friends jokes and while they attempted to laugh it off and chalk it up to "well we really are big and fat, so it was true, and we should not be upset when they say something true". it did indeed hurt and hurt deeply. For their "friends" to say that, is to me, boorish behavior on their part.
I have seen older people do this also, my own grandmother will ask "why is she wearing that hat? It looks silly" or "why did she color her hair, it was so much better looking before," or "why are you wearing that and showing off so much skin?" Each of these comments were directed at keepers, in each instance it was said as if only her opinion counted and keepers should change just for her. It is her complete lack of caring about what effects her comments have on people that made me realize, she enjoys being this way.
One of keepers grandmothers was the same way, she would tell family members lies, saying A said B was this or that, then go to B and say did you know A said this about you? then come over to C and say, watch A and B!!! she would laugh as they reacted to her lies!! how mean and cruel can any one person be? I mean abuse that creates multiplicity is indeed horrific but this is abuse also in my opinion.
Writing lies in blogs, blog comments and emails in an effort to hurt are just as abusive and just as mean and cruel, and only goes to prove that the writer is a sick, twisted person who cares about no one but themselves.
Another person is the one who says something offensive and then laughs, as if to say oh this is all a joke, I didn't mean it and in an effort to not make a scene the offended person, laughs along, all the while hurting inside or being angered but none the less, saying nothing in their own defense.
People who make these cruel comments verbally or in text, we have tried to remove from our lives, they are not beneficial to our well being. They are not people we want to be around. There is no reason to put yourself in the direct path of mean and cruel words. We all deserve to be treated with respect and if people cannot do that....so long!
Happy trails to all
John M
4 comments:
Yeah I know what you mean.
...and a WOOHOO & amen brother to you john! you & keepers are on a roll! keep it up--you're giving me a way to channel my anger--at all the people who put others down in an attempt to make themselves feel better. i NEVER understood the logic in that (if there IS any logic in it!)
later,
cj
Hi Wolfbaby
my guess would be too many of us know what i mean, that we all have people like this in our lives, and sometimes they are people we feel we cannot get away from so the comments and actions cannot be avoided which only prolongs the feelings of abuse from the past.
Wishing you the best
JM
Hey CJ!
Glad we can give you a place to vent your frustrations with people like this! Trying to understand these people is useless in my opinion. I used to hear "well they are old: as an excuse, does that give them the right to be mean and say things irregardless of how it affects others? I think not. Those who claim to be friends and "laugh it off as a joke" are just as cruel, if not worse, in my opinion.
later
jm
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